


Playboy

by Reknownst



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Complete, F/M, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Hannah/Franz, One-Sided Attraction, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Trost Arc (Shingeki no Kyojin), Rarepair, Slight Armin/Mina if you squint, Trost Arc (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reknownst/pseuds/Reknownst
Summary: Of all the things in this world, she was all he ever really wanted...
Relationships: Mina Carolina/Eren Yaeger/Annie Leonhardt, Mina Carolina/Mylius Zeramuski
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. First Year- Mina

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Euregatto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Euregatto/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts), [Jelly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jelly/gifts), [Eurydice_II_of_Macedon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eurydice_II_of_Macedon/gifts).
  * Inspired by [My Past is a Graveyard and My Mind The Tomb](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/627553) by Euregatto. 
  * Inspired by [His Appetite](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/661078) by Iswallowedthestars. 



> A port from my FF.net account and also a request by Kasher over on FF.net so feel free to check them out. No idea if they're still active though
> 
> Un-edited from 5 years ago, and am still planning on finishing on both this site and FF.

"You! Third row! State your name!" The trainee's fist thumped against his chest. Mina had almost thought that the boy would've knocked a solid hole through his chest. After the Potato Girl had already condemned herself to hell on the first day, instructor Shadis's drill had intensified. She had been so apt to join the military, to help humanity and more so to keep her hometown safe from the advancing titans. She had been staring directly at the fences ahead of her, a part of her considering making a break for it. She had known that military life was grueling, but she had never thought that it'd be so demanding emotionally.

"Millius Zermusky of Karanese!" Shadis's voice seemed to grow even more unnerving, nearing in as he had done so earlier to Marco. His tone was something different.

"From the same place as that pigshit in the first row!? Then why don't you go and accompany them! A lily-livered shit like you will be the first one the titans are gonna' dine on!" Mina rubbed her fingertips into her palms. She was still shaking a little from how draconian the man had been. He had bore into the short haired blonde a little ways to her right, Armin Arlert, he had said his name was, and had even struck out at Jean with a solid headbutt. By the time he had gotten to her, she had already been trying desperately hard to control her shaking. If he noticed, he hadn't said anything on it. She was a little concerned about Millius.

She had kept her eyes glued to Millius's hazing with the utmost conviction, wincing inwardly as Shadis bellowed out his usual "face front!" phrase when he was finished with them. Millius's eyes had gone from staring into Shadis's chest to her eyes directly, a sly, mischievous smirk gracing the edges of his lips.

_Millius, don't, s_ he thought fatigued. His eyes settled with a frown to match. Mina made a tired sigh as she saw Millius's lips part into speech, into something she couldn't hear. He had mumbled it really, but Shadis, who had been only a person away, had froze almost instantly on the spot. His sunken eyes turning to him with a vague and eery sense of control.

"Zermusky, mind repeating what the hell you said?" Mina turned away even as the rest of the new recruits looked on with disbelief. She knew that Millius had been wanting her in particular to be the one watching. Millius didn't respond. Mina squealed a little in fright at the explosion in the instructor. She had turned back around against her better judgment. Shadis's hand was planted firmly onto Millius's skull. It had seemed so likely that he would've tore the boy from the ground in a livid explosion of anger.

"Hey chicken shit! I'm talking to you!" Millius's face had gone blank and Mina couldn't tell if he was trying in vain to be stoic or if he had truly lost his train of thought. She corrected herself. She noticed then the sharp edge in his eyes. Again, he was looking past Shadis and at her. Mina's brow furrowed at him.

_Look away._ She bit the inside of her lip. She knew him. She knew him very well. Even so, the ways he stared at her made her hair stand on end. _Look away!_

"It was a remark to myself." Millius mumbled again. He was looking at Shadis now, jaw clenched and palms sweaty. "I'm sorry. I just thought that this uniform is ichy as hell..." A crushing silence filled the air. Shadis stared at Millius unabashed and unflinching, but Millius hadn't once returned even a glance and attempted to watch his feet with a fake interest. Shadis let him fall from his hands and watched the boy slip into the dirt.

"2000 push-ups. Get started," Shadis hissed.

* * *

Mina had lost count how many times she had heard Millius's name. Among other things, his brazen cool guy attitude had nearly gotten him killed. He had passed out twice from heat exhaustion and was delirious when he had strolled into the mess hall. He had only gotten to 150 before he collasped. She hadn't been surprised from how mountainous and dry the region was. The sun was usually very inforgiving when it came to the area. Still, she had wished he had thought his actions through. He had been one of the few new recruits who hadn't taken the basic aptitude test, even though he had the rest of day to rest. There were bits and pieces that she caught, the most pronounced one being that she hadn't been the only one to know that he had been staring past Shadis.

She sighed, and it earned her a slightly barbed stare from the other person across from here. Mina straightened herself then and ragged her eyes up to the girls. Her eyes were a piercing and crystal hued. It felt as though she were staring through her. Mina fumbled to form her thoughts, let alone a simple sentence.

"O-Oh..I'm, um, sorry about that." She laughed awkwardly, but the other girls eyes made her shiver inwardly. They showed nothing in the slightest. _Who could live like this...?_ It was quiet then. For a moment, she figured if this had been what Millius had felt like when everyone had watched him in amazement at his attempted indifference. The other girl had finally looked away, propping her chin up. The look of boredom remained strong in her face. Again, Mina tried to find her words. "So, why did you join the military?"

Silence.

"I joined because I thought I could help humanity." Her crystal eyes shifted, flicking over toward Mina to observe her impassively. "I'm a little nervous about the whole thing..."

"I'd prefer it if you'd leave me out of whatever it is you're doing or thinking. I could care less." Mina recoiled at the sharp response, a part of her a little offended.

"I was only trying to be friendly."

"Don't." She combed through her food listlessly. "Wouldn't it be better for you to deal with other people? Maybe people who might _enjoy_ your company?" Mina's mouth gaped slightly, but her face fell.

"I would, but I don't necessarily have anyone I've come here with." The other girl grunted, wiping a few strands of sunny blonde hair that had fallen over her eyes.

"So you don't know the idiot who nearly got himself killed?" Mina let out a rough exhale. "Do you?" For a moment, Mina had considered shaking her head in denial. The look in the girl's eyes had told her, frightened her into otherwise. She nodded bashfully.

"He doesn't usually act like that. When I had met him back when we were kids, he seemed... a lot more sincere." Mina offered up a small smile but the blonde made it clear that she had no further interest in talking, and simply kept her eyes averted with the same cold, neutral stare and offered Mina nothing more than that.

"Alright brats! Dining's over! All of you will line up outside the dormitories and will be assigned a room-mate! Hurry up and get to it!" It was Shadis again, and his voice still sent tremors through Mina's spine. Oddly enough, she found that he was less important at the moment. She kept her eyes on the blonde girl, who didn't even cringed in the slightest at Shadis's display. She had been hoping that the girl would turn to look at her, but to no avail.

Mina sighed, a little annoyed but gave a shrug of her shoulders. "Well, I guess it was nice meeting you... I'm Mina." That was all Mina had said and it was probably all the other girl could stand to listen to. Mina stood up and left her, not even stopping once to even make an attempt to remember her face.

* * *

The 104th had all lined up in front of the barrack quarters. It was divided into two factions, one for each gender. The dorm complexes were built interestingly enough, each being lined with its own, smaller mess hall and various extracurricular facilities and despite the dormitories and recruiting stations being built on a somewhat mountainous area, a small lake could be seen a little ways below them, just beyond the northern edge of the fence. It may have even been possible to slide down to it if someone could navigate the steep cliff-side.

Shadis's voice exploded a third time, but Mina hadn't been paying even the slightest attention. She had heard a few names in bits and pieces. Brandt, Tius, Mundis, _Zermusky._ She paused at the sound of his name. Her eyes flicked over to the boys squad, noting that each of them had stood next to their assigned room-mates, and among them she had seen the strangest pairings. She had been so intrigued by the odd pairs that she hadn't even heard Shadis barking off the girls room-mates.

"Carolina!" She tensed a little, but was steadily growing used to the sound of his voice and of the method to his madness. "Leonhardt!" Mina's heart sank a little. She wasn't quite familiar with that name and tried to place a face to the name with little avail. She gave up after a bit and figured she would find out once she went to settle into her dorm.

It had grown dark by the time the room-mates were assigned and Mina struggled to stay awake, nearly falling over a few times before they were finally dismissed for the day and she inched over to her dorm. Inside, she had found the basic necessities. A dresser was lined against the wall, big enough to accommodate both her and her room-mates clothes. Across from the dresser and pushed into a corner was bunk bed and next to that was small office style desk at which sat a familiar face and Mina immediately felt a familiar thought come with it.

_It's that bitch..._ Mina put a hand to her mouth. It wasn't often that she was so calloused, but then again, it was the same blonde girl that had shot her down for what she felt was little to no reason. She had been trying to be a nice person, and to make a friend. The other girl had her back facing to her.

"Are you going to stare at my back all day?" The edges of Mina's mouth twitched.

"I hadn't thought _**you'd**_ be my room-mate." Her comment was intentionally barbed that time, but she was met with the same deadpan.

"You weren't paying attention." Mina folded her arms.

"Do you think there's any chance that we could switch room-mates?" The girl in question shrugged.

"Most likely not. Besides, you're making a big deal out of nothing. You don't have to like me or make transparent attempts at making friends. Just go and find someone who's more like you than I am." Again, Mina huffed, but couldn't argue with her reasoning. No, she didn't really care for her and would much rather be someone else's room-mate. But she would've preferred as little friction as possible.

"Okay then," Mina started "That's fine. But I'd like it if at least tell me your name." Mina watched closely as the girls eyes found their way to her fluidly. They were seemingly burning holes into her skin or freezing her to the spot at least. The blonde blinked only once. She was smooth and controlled even in that. Mina felt a bit of jealousy flush into her face. Her roommate so far was insufferable to say the least, but she was without a doubt _gorgeous._

"You should've been listening." That was a slap in the face. Mina's hands tightened in frustration.

"Are you seri-"

"Annie Leonhardt." The smooth voice stopped Mina in her tracks. Annie stood up from her seat, climbing up onto the top of the bunk. "If that's all you wanted to know, then you should go to sleep. I saw how terrified you had been of Shadis." Annie tossed the cover up over her head and said nothing else.

"I wasn't scared of him," she said indignantly. He..." She struggled for an excuse. "Caught me off guard." she finished lamely. "By the time he was assigning our roommates, I had gotten used to him screaming at everyone." Annie didn't say anything. Mina frowned. She had slipped into her sleepwear, sliding under the blankets on the lower bunk. "Anyway, I'm-"

"Mina Carolina," Annie finished. Mina's lips creased back into a small grin. She _had_ been listening, it seemed and that thought in itself made her grin even wider. Neither girl said anything after that. It had occurred to Mina then that she didn't quite know were Annie had come from. She didn't talk much and couldn't imagine her shunning only her. It was a possibility that there was something going on in Annie's world that no one really even knew about.

She thought of Eren. His mother had been eaten right before his eyes and he had lost track of his father, who had more than likely succumbed to the same fate. Annie could be like that. _Maybe she is..._ Mina closed her eyes and inhaled slowly and she was sudden;y staring at the bottom of Annie's bunk. A fire rose in Mina's chest as she did so. She needed to know more about this girl and about Annie. She needed to know where the girl had come from too. More importantly, she really just wanted to know what the world really looked liked to her.

_She just needs a friend._ She yawned. _And I promise that I'll be that friend._ Not even a moment after, Mina floated calmly into sleep.


	2. Second Year- Millius

It had already been a whole year he thought. One year already. Every single recruit that had stayed on the first day had matured, even if only by the slightest bit into who they were meant to be. Millius was twelve then and it was just _last year_ , even though it felt as if it had been eons ago. He laughed to himself a little. What was he doing indulging in old memories? Most of them dealt with his numerous incursion's of Shadis's disciplinary procedures, although Millius had noticed a change in Shadis's overall behavior, especially once they had all gotten used to his intimidating appearance. He even seemed to become a bit of some sort of fatherly guide for the lot of them and within that first year, Millius had already discovered how annoying that could actually be.

He watched listlessly as Zacklay mentored, droning on about the titans and their supposed invulnerability, focusing mostly upon their regenerative abilities and the small slot of weakness at the napes of their necks. It was important information Zacklay and quite a bit of the military seniors repeated often. Millius scoffed at the warnings half the time. Even if it was important information, it was a trove he had no plans to use. He had been one of the many that had been swept up in the propaganda, in the alleged 'praise' that only a soldier could have. Millius propped his head up, his cheek resting atop his hand with an increasingly bored expression.

_If that were only true._

His father had been one of the members of the Scouting Legion from a while back, back when Shadis himself had been the commander of the legion, and Millius often never heard the end of his father speaking about "his exploits" under Shadis. The thoughts left a bitter fuzziness in the center of his chest. Millius thought of his older brother that had tried to follow after his father's footsteps, and was promptly eaten. He had been one of the first to die and on his first expedition no less.

The loss of his older brother had done little to deter his father's near extremist-loyalty to the Legion and often had started to badger Millius into joining the military as well. His mother had been so bewildered at his father's stubbornness, and the two had usually taken to arguing every other day.

"Zermusky."

_Shit._ Why was he always prime targeting for the instructors?

"You seem distracted." Millius's brow quivered.

"Not really. Just...taking in all of the knowledge." He had said it a little more barbed than intended, which earned him a few snickers and poorly disguised chuckles in the lecture hall. Zacklay glared.

"Then I take it you'd like to be one of the first to be eaten, or torn limb from limb?" Millius didn't offer a response to which Zacklay added: "Pay attention" before turning his attention back to the entire class. Zacklay turned his back to the board, and immediately after, Millius's focus wandered off again, eyes wandering the room and over the students of note.

They were the ones sitting in the front, but then again, their seats had been organized based on their overall scores up to the present. Upon a second glance, he had also noted that the students in the fron of the room weren't just students of note but probably considered the best in the entire 104th.

Kirstein.

Arlert.

Ackerman and Jaeger.

He himself sat in the middle, nothing important though he was often told by a few people that he was quite intelligent and perceptive. It may have been something worth bragging about if Arlert didn't overshadow him in that regard completely. It was better than being cast in the back, he figured. He'd be among recruits like Dazz or Samuel, the former looking strangely out of place while the other seemed far too...impassive.

He thought of Mina for a moment, and sought her out in the classroom, finding that she had placed relatively well, and she sat probably a few rows ahead of him. It wasn't quite near the caliber of the top students, but well all the same.

_She really placed that good?_ Zacklay's voice had long faded away, though Millius could still hear loose phrases from the lecture. Instead, he watched 'Twin Tails', as he often called her for the low tails of hair she always wore along her shoulders. He had very much watched every bit of motion from her.

He watched her hand raises.

He watched her gossip, sparingly, to another one of the top-class students, to Leonhardt, another one of the top class students who had oddly managed to worm her way out from the front of the room. It had impressed Millius even when Annie had even acknowledged Mina, while she mercilessly shut down other numerous attempts at getting to know her. There was a quick, light rap against his forearm. A quick glance told him all he needed to know.

It was a note:

"Hey Millius, what's up? Well, since we met last year and all that, you started being the 'cool, silent' type. It wasn't like you talked much, but, you get the idea! But man, what the hell's up with you and Mina? I see you look at her all. The. Time. If you want it to be a thing, hurry up and fuck her! It can't be too hard to put the moves on her! We're gonna' be fighting Titans anyways and—"

He crumbled the letter. His lips curved strangely at the attempt to keep from laughing and making a chortle of disgust. He muttered under his breath, knowing that only Nac could be so direct and stupidly bold. The guy was even kind of an asshole at times, but it was nothing he wasn't able to put up with. It wasn't until he had seen a shadow cast over his desk that he noticed that the room had gone quiet. He went to look to the board and found Zacklay standing over him, palm open.

* * *

"You're always getting in trouble with the instructors." Millius shrugged.

"In my defense, I was only letting them now the 'really real' things of the situation." she shrugged a second time. "Besides, 50 laps around the entire barracks isn't so bad." Mina recoiled.

"50!? That's only ten less than Sasha! And she just about collapsed!"

"When Shadis said she had to skip lunch." Mina paused.

"Well, yeah, but still, remember what Shadis had _you_ do?" He appeared pensive then, and Mina gawked a little. "Don't tell me you forgot!" He gave her an awkward grin. "The 2000 push-ups?"

That rang a bell.

"Oh, yeah. And on a Sunday too," he added forlornly. His voice perked up within moments though and he gave a few hard blows to his chest. "Still, both of those times were when we first joined. Compared to then, we're way more conditioned. 50 laps is no problem. I'm pretty sure Sasha could handle 60 laps no problem now too." Mina rolled her eyes.

"You sound so confident."

"Since when was I any different?" Another roll of her eyes.

"Since before you met Nac." His face dropped.

"That was a little harsh, don't you think?" Mina smiled.

"I'm a little surprised that you really thought I was being serious." Millius couldn't help but laugh with her then. He was at ease, in spite of all of the thoughts he had been feeling in class. No. His contentment was mixed with something else he couldn't describe or really even stand.

And it was always when he was able to sit with Mina like this. And as their conversation carried on, Millius had become aware of just how much the feeling affected him, though he didn't quite understand why. He felt himself hinging on every word she spoke, on what she may be thinking about, and whether or not she thought about him in any kind of way. He had written it of as just them being friends for so long, so it was normal, right?

"Millius?" He blinked. Mina's face focused in his vision, and berated himself for having spaced out.

"A-ah...Sorry. I was just...th-th-" _Thinking, damn it!_

_"_ Thinking," she finished for him. He nodded, trying to place his facade back in place.

"I guess I was trying to get the words out too fast..." She giggled and again, Millius felt his focus numb. His heart thumped in his chest and the thought numbing had become a full fledge fog, two things that his older brother would've called "love". The thought gave rise to a certain memory, where he and Mina were often teased as being a couple. She was his "best friend" and not his girlfriend" as he had put it back then.

He had also become very aware of how he wanted to touch her, and of how soft she looked. His brother had had a girlfriend back then and Millius wondered if his brother had felt a certain kind of heat or a surging need to touch her like he did for Mina.

Did Mina really give him _any_ kind of thought beyond friendship?

The question both intrigued and scared him. He had spaced out again, and he brought his attention back to Mina.

"I'm sorry... I...spaced out again." Surprisingly, Mina shrugged it off.

"That's a little different. You're usually pretty sharp."

"Usually." There were a few moments of silence between them. Millius had watched her again, more subtly than he been and realized that neither of them had anything more to add, and that neither one of them were willing to look like the awkward fool.

_When had this happened?_ Mina stood up, stretching and with a fake yawn.

"I guess I'll be going to bed soon. We'll have to get up really early tomorrow." Millius nodded.

"Yeah. Mondays aren't the greatest." They each bade the other goodbye and he watched her slip from sight. His shoulder slumped as soon as she had gone and he leaned back into the wooden chair. He looked around the mess hall. How long had they been talking there? The place was practically empty at this point, save a few tables being taken up by some of the other recruits. He even saw Wagner at one of the tables and was a little surprised with that too.

He yawned and stood after a few minutes, figuring that he would follow after Mina's example, more so to get away from the thoughts of her than to actually sleep. Even if her gesture had been transparent to him. He was certain that they had both noticed how different he had began acting in the last few minutes. He shoved his hands into his pockets, filing the thought away for another time and was nearly through the door before another body ran directly into him.

He could feel the top of their head a little ways under his chin. He was only a little taller than Jaeger really, and didn't consider himself all that tall. He cast a gaze down.

_Shit..._

"Watch where you're going."

" _Duly_ noted," he retorted. "Geez, Annie. I can see how even Mina thought you were a bitch." He had expected her to respond, but instead they just stood there, which probably meant she figured her uninviting demeanor would've pushed him aside by now.

"Move," she repeated. Millius folded his arms defiantly. Millius continued to speak, as if he hadn't heard a single word.

"Matter of fact, that's all I hear from anyone who talks about you." Annie fixed him with a venomous stare.

"And you think I _care_?" Her hands were small, but they dug into his shirt with a certain strength and she yanked him down to her level, even stretching the seams a little. They were nearly nose-to-nose. The whole thing really shook him up, considering he was a good six inches taller than her.

"I don't like to be involved with stupid little squabbles like this. Is agitating someone minding their own business really necessary?" Her grip tightened and when Millius found that he was speechless, Annie pushed him and he stumbled back onto the mess hall floors with a crash. "That's all I have to say."

And then she kept forward as if nothing happened. She had already wiped him from her mind, and without the slightest bit of difficulty either. She didn't even respond when Millius called after her with a snarl.

_She's a real bitch alright, Mina._

He clenched his fist as he watched her grow smaller, and had half a mind to run after her and ask what the hell was her problem. She had decided on being rude, so he figured he'd do the same. A part of him was seething even, and there was an estranged thought to challenge her. He let out a deep breath then, and turned his back to her as well, unaware that Annie had turned back to watch him leave.

* * *

Millius's body thrummed with a mixture of soreness and boredom. He wanted to get up and do something, anything really, but his body would ache sharply whenever he made an attempt to move. So he was stuck there, confined to the bottom bunk of his cabin. He would look to the window occasionally. He had come up to bed to get away from thinking, to sleep. But instead, there he was, wide awake and _still_ thinking. It was late, and Millius was almost certain that he'd regret it if he stayed up any longer.

Aside from the 3-D drills and the strategy course from the day, he had been so confident that he'd be able to handle the 50 laps, only to find that it was the one thing that had pushed him over the edge. There wasn't much he could remember of the laps, only waking and finding a scowling Mina, whose presence was accented by that Annie Leonhardt and Marco Bodt. He grunted in false irritation. Mina was right after all about the laps.

Mina.

Pigshit.

Twin Tails.

All of the names referred to the same person, though he couldn't stand the insult Shadis had given her when breaking them all in. Millius had played his cards dumbly, finding ways to irritate and annoy Shadis with Nac and Connie. It was a certain kind of revenge for having cut into Mina so deeply back then. It was all he could really do.

It stung a bit to watch even. Millius could do nothing when he had grown so used to being to able to fight off anyone that would tease Mina. It had been that way since they were kids. She was his closest friend after all.

" _Not_ my girlfriend," he repeated. He took a deep breath, slightly annoyed. An image of the short girl from earlier, of Annie, had sifted into his mind again. The girl had no tolerance for just about no one, yet she put up with Mina with only restained sarcasm if anything. He couldn't quite wrap his head around how someone as chatty as Mina could befriend someone so...solitary.

"This is complete shit."

"'Who' or 'what' is complete shit?"

"Can it, Mundis. It's none of your business." His roommate's face swung over the edge of the top bunk, his dark hair hanging just over his eyes.

"You shouldn't try so hard to pick up things from Nac. He's kind of a bad influence if you ask me. Anyway, this must be one of your 'Mina' things then." That earned a quirky brow raise from Millius.

"What makes you say that?"

"I figured you might've heard Fritz talking about her or something. He did say that Mina is a pretty nice girl, and that he definitely considers her a friend." Millius's face didn't change.

"Why would that matter to me. I've been her friend for all her life. It's nothing unnatural." Jayce's face disappeared then, and he shuffled down from the top bunk, taking a seat on the edge of Millius's bunk.

"even though there's usually friendship complications, that's how romantic feelings usually get started. It's always the 'we're just friends' card. I mean, look at Franz and Hannah." The words got a rise out of Millius.

"Brandt's a little absent upstairs sometimes though." There was an expression of disbelief from Jayce and Millius rose a brow skeptically. "Come on, what I said wasn't that bad. If anything, it's a little true."

"That was was more pointed than in good nature," Jayce murmured. "And besides, I know how much you like Mina—"

"It's not like that." Millius went to say something else, but caught himself. What Jayce said did have some truth to it, didn't it? If anything, it definitely summed up how _he_ felt about Mina.

"That was way to defensive to be a normal answer either." Jayce frowned, giving Millius an expression that he could only place as worry. "I think it's better to get hurt than spend the rest of your life wondHe didn't really want to believe them.

It made him think too much of his brother. Millius turned his back to Jayce.

"Go to sleep. It has to be almost midnight, and we're supposed to get up at four." He could feel Jayce staring at his back, as if he was trying to will Millius to look at him. Long seconds passed.

"If that's the case, then you should make your move before Fritz or someone else does." Millius tightened his form belligerently.

"I thought you and Friedrich were friends?"

"We are," Jayce responded matter-of-factly. "And so are we. Fritz doesn't have the slightest bit of interest in Mina that way. He's more or less been trying to figure out how Annie thinks and ticks." They were silent again and Millius felt Jayce leave the edge of his bed and back up onto the top bunk. "Anyway, night Millius. Can you at least think about what I said?" Millius stifled a laugh.

Was Jayce of all people being serious?

"Yeah. Sure." With a yawn, Millius made himself comfortable, and was nearly off to sleep when Mina came to mind.

_Mina..._ He stopped himself, and discarded the thought of her in an instant. 


	3. Second Year- Mina

It felt like they had joined all over again, and to be honest, Mina hated the feeling. Like the first year, she had found that everyone was talking about someone, and that someone seemed to coincidentally be Millius. Hearing Millius's name as often as she did had without a doubt worn on her. Even so, it wasn't just Millius's name that bothered her so much by itself. It was usually preceded by the word "playboy", which almost always, if not always, allowed the whole thing to get thoroughly under her skin.

"He was never really a 'playboy'," she grumbled to herself.

"You know, you really suck at mumbling." Mina nearly jumped from her seat.

"Damn it Millius. _Again?_ " He smiled.

"It wouldn't hurt to tune in more, would it?"

"So I can listen to those corny pick up lines?"

"They work, don't they?" She didn't even really bother to consider a response. No, in truth, she couldn't really even think of one. Since when had he become so focused on _girls_? She was looking past him for a moment, and brought her attention back to him.

_Oh damn it,_ she thought. He was staring at her again, and Mina felt the adrenaline rush through her veins. _Why are you staring at me like that?_ Millius was smirking, but Mina saw something much more than that. Much more than his cool guy charade, something bigger than even Nac's poor advice. For a moment, Mina wasn't quite sure if he were staring past or into her. She swallowed, gathering strength from a unexpected burst of courage. "Are you just going to stare at me?" Mina expected some kind of respite; she found no such thing.

"I could. I think you're starting to fill out nicely." They were staring at one another for what seemed to be a painfully long time then.

"M-Millius!"

"What," he responded casually. "I'm just giving you a compliment."

"W-well, stop it..." Millius rose a brow.

"You don't do too well when under the light, do you?" Mina glared at him, as if he knew the answer to that. She was right. He did know the answer without a doubt. It was his certain kind of method of picking at her and that seemed to be the one thing that he was abusing lately when it came to her.

"You know how tongue-tied I can get sometimes," Mina huffed, and Millius responded with a shrug.

"Yeah, sure. That's why I do it." Mina's glare remained, though she noted that Millius refused to look at her directly. Again, the two sat at a strange stalemate. "I'm not going to watch you until you stop glaring at me."

"Why not?" Millius sighed, kicking his chair back and placing his feet on the table. If Shadis caught him, that'd be an extra 20 laps. Millius was silent. "Come on Millius. Let's not do this..." Mina said tiredly. "We go through this more than we should."

"Are you jealous?" Mina stared at him blankly for a moment.

"What?" Millius repeated himself.

"Are you jealous?" Mina wasn't sure if she was more surprised of the question or if she was more impressed with Millius's sudden change in person. She was less on alert though her fingers and heart still quivered under his eyes.

"What do I have to be jealous of?" she asked quietly. He grunted snidely at her, subtly flirtatious, and he picked himself up from the chair, moving in to sit next to her, and even still he leaned in, so close to where he could've kissed her if he wanted. Mina thought her chest would burst from his leering.

"I forgot. You have eyes for Jaeger." Fire crept into her cheeks, but Mina threw her embarrassment aside, along with her questions to Millius on exactly how the hell did he know something _like that._

"We grew up together," he replied. "And we grew up close. Remember when those boys from down the street would tease you and put gum in your hair?" The memory made Mina smile.

"And you got into a fight with all four of them?" He grinned back at her. She had to admit, Millius was sure confident of his abilities.

"And I won too. At the cost of a busted lip, swollen knuckles and a black eye."

"And nearly getting sent to the mines because you didn't know when to quit."

"I'd _ **like** _to think we grew up close." _Nice topic change you dork,_ Mina thought with a smile.

"It's a wonder how I didn't know you were into Eren sooner." He finished. "Only you would have such a bad taste in guys." That was enough to dispel Mina's elation, and more-so, enough to get her attention back to something she wanted to find out.

"Millius," her voice was stern this time. He returned her stare. "Why is everyone calling you 'Playboy'? That's all I ever hear now. 'That playboy Millius...' or 'Yeah, he's a ladies man!' is not the Millius I grew up with." He rose a brow.

"Did talking about Eren upset you that much?" Mina shook her head.

"You know that you're trying to change the topic." Millius grumbled, muttering something Mina didn't quite catch. She tried her best to keep glaring, but her face softened regardless. Besides, maintaining a permanent scowl was somewhat annoying and painful for her face anyhow.

"When did you become so interested in me?" Mina's mouth hung open a little.

"Millius, what are you talking about? I've always been interested in you." He turned to her with a strange expression. He didn't quite believe what she was saying, nor did he think she knew what he meant. She had seen the doubt written in his face, clear as day. Mina turned away, a little overwhelmed at how well she knew Millius.

"Whatever," The change in Millius's voice was enough to get her to turn around to face him, and she managed to only see the back of his white tunic as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

"When did you get so interested in girls?" Millius went rigid.

"Always have been." She knew that he was straining to sound convincing.

"Oh, you're not fooling me." Millius was quiet.

"You're not fooling me either, you know."

"Then get to it and answer me: Why is everyone calling you a playboy? I mean, I've noticed that you've been acting different, and it's different than Nac's dumb influence."

"Nac's calmed down quite a bit." Millius retorted defensively. "He's a good friend when you get past all that garbage." Mina sighed.

"I didn't say that he was. I just..." she stopped, watching Millius turn back to her, still with the same gaze. Mina held her ground under his grey eyes, instead trying her best to see what Millius was feeling that made him so strange and so reclusive with her. "I just want to know what the hell is going on."

He shrugged again, and suddenly, he was grinning, strangely so. The discomfort Mina felt returned tenfold, and her heart was pumping suddenly too many times.

"Millius?"

"You don't want to know the answer to that question." The smoothness in his voice had returned, and he was back to working his subtle mind games on her, even though he had failed the first time. Mina slammed her fist into the table, nearly knocking the trays from the table. The entire room stopped. Millius's eyes shifted to the side of her, and then over to his right. "You got everyone's attention, Mina."

"Stop being such an asshole!" Millius's smirk waned. "I'm only trying to be a good friend. We haven't really talked since the start of the year four months ago, so when I ask you something, do you really have to be so evasive?" Millius didn't answer. "Do you even _trust_ me?" Still, Millius said nothing, and his eyes flicked past her, and a pair of people caught his eye, both of which made him rigid with distaste. Mina had followed his eyes, turning back to find both Annie and Eren Jaeger watching the confrontation; Eren had his teeth bared in anger, his eyes focused intently on Millius, though Mikasa kept him restrained, her grip seemingly bone-crushing to do so; Annie simply stood up and left the hall.

"So, are you going to continue?" Millius remarked. Mina scanned over the dining room again, seeing the eyes of everyone focused on them.

Thomas.

Nac.

Sasha.

Friedrich.

Hannah and Franz.

Mina took a deep breath before she grabbed hold of Millius, tugging him fiercely behind her.

"Where are we going?" Even then, there was still an amorous edge to his voice, as if he were still playing games with her.

"Shut up. I need to talk to you."

* * *

She shoved him into her dorm room, and nearly slammed the door behind her. Millius smirked.

"Moving quick? And in the girls dorm too. If Shadis finds out—"

"Shadis isn't _here_ , is he?" Once again, she had found a way to get Millius to be quiet. Mina pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Millius, why do you get under my skin so much?" He fumbled for an answer. He seemed to be more shocked that she had said something so calloused despite their friendship over the years, and right from the beginning also.

"Do you...r-really mean that?" Another frustrated sigh.

"No, I mean as of late. I hate the fact that 'Playboy Millius' is such a hot topic and I hate how mean you've been the last four months. I actually started trying to avoid you because I just don't like seeing whatever's bothering you bother you so bad. And I wish you would tell me what the hell's going on so we can both try to fix this!" She was heaving, and at any moment, it seemed like she would start crying, and even so, there seemed to be almost no change in Zermusky, save a defensive raise of both of his hands.

"Well, I see that 'playboy' and Mina don't get along so well at all." He stood back up from her bedside. "Look, we don't need to talk about this, but I can definitely leave you alone, alright?" Mina shook her head.

"I _want_ to know. I want to know why you changed so much..." Mina took another deep breath to calm herself. She wasn't sure if Millius could see that she was shaking subtly. If so, he said nothing of it. "I want to know why they call you 'Playboy Milllius' and not just 'Millius' like we all used to."

Pensive would've been the best words to describe Millius in those following moments. He was genuinely thinking of an answer, one that Mina hoped wasn't overbearingly witty or sarcastic. Dealing with Millius had really left her somewhat drained.

"It's because 'your Millius' didn't know how to get what he wanted." Mina cringed as he had "your Millius". Her frustration gave way to a small pang of familiar discomfort.

"Are you saying 'my Millius' didn't know how to attract girls?" Millius shook his head, even though Mina caught traces of pink flushing across his face. It was strange to see Millius flushing in embarrassment, even if It was slight.

"Not even. I guess he was just nervous about a lot of things."

"Changing yourself still isn't grounds for being called a playboy. And I doubt that's the only reason why everyone's calling you such." Mina walked past him to sit on her bottom bunk, and Millius sat down next to her. "I can never hear your name without 'Playboy' anyway and it's gotten annoying." She giggled in an attempt to lighten the somber mood, and managed to illicit a menial grin from him.

"Reminds me of when I pissed of Shadis the first year..."

"Don't change the topic," Mina countered. "In fact, you should tell me before you forget."

"As if I'd forget that," he mumbled. Mina frowned.

"Are you thinking about your brother again?" Millius chuckled sardonically.

"Not at all. Me and my brother were close, but I figured he'd go out and die anyway." He leaned back onto Mina's bunk. "But no, that's not what I'm worried about."

"Then what are you worried about?" He turned to her with a certain kind of smile, and perhaps Mina was making progress with him.

"Just how to tell you exactly why everyone started calling me 'Playboy'." Mina raised a brow.

"Just go for it," she said with a grin." Again, he seemed to ponder his thoughts for a moment before answering.

"I fucked a few of the upper class girls." Mina's jaw dropped.

"You... _what?_ " He shrugged casually neither quite proud or ashamed. That shrug, that god-forsaken shrug made Mina want to tear the boys head loose.

"In the 102nd, there were a few girls that caught my eye, so I went for it."

"That's it?" Millius gave another casual shrug.

"Casual sex is what a playboy does."

"That's not what I mean." Mina pinched her brow. Another wave of anger was staring to take hold of her. How was it that Millius, shrewd, clever Millius resorted to doing something so stupid? She looked back to him to see that she had his attention, and his eyes were focused on her without his unnerving gaze or past her. It hadn't been that way in a long while. "Who are they? How many did you do it with?"

"Oh, shut up mom."

"Millius, I'm serious." He lost his focus, more so his nerve, and his eyes went familiarly past Mina.

"I fucked them because I could, and they said that they had always wanted to try it. Besides, it's not like—"

Mina slapped him and realized immediately afterwards that she was way more riled up than she thought. Even back in the mess hall, she would've never actually _hit_ Millius.

"How many," she repeated vehement. _My hand hurts._ His eyes still refused to meet hers. He was smooth all right, way more than he used to be. Mina corrected herself. To her, she wasn't really speaking to Millius.

This was "The Playboy", so to speak.

"How many," Mina nearly it yelled throughout the dorms.

"Okay," he replied abruptly, and small. "You got me. So I lied."

"Lied?" Millius nodded curtly. Mina thought she would've struck out at him again she was so livid. Instead, she managed to keep her hands at her side and listen tentatively.

"Yeah." Mina huffed.

"So, you're lying about the 102nd girls," she asked through clenched teeth. "And spread it as a rumor to make yourself look good?" His expression was smooth and cool once again. His mind games were damn exasperating. It was something he was always good at, and it made Mina more irritable by the second. At that rate, she would be at her limit soon. "Then why the hell would—"

"I actually fucked them all."

* * *

Mina lost count somewhere around 120. In hindsight, she may have been a little overzealous in beating the hell out of Millius. Even so, Mina welcomed the 500 push-up Shadis had penalized her to do. The downside of it was that they needed to be done in the middle of the night, whilst everyone else slept. The fact that Millius's words replayed themselves in her head over and over again did little to appease the situation. She thought of everything, of how Millius looked at her, how he had changed over the course of a single year and most definitely how he had been with _every single girl_ of the 102nd senior class.

"I can't believe he did that," Mina grumbled. "I don't even understand how he did it in the first place..." A weight suddenly formed on her back, bringing Mina flat onto the floor.

"You're worked up over nothing."

"Annie? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"I have my reasons for being out this late. Aside from that, is there any real reason to be worked over nothing?" Mina tried to roll from under Annie, to better position herself, but she wouldn't budge.

"It's a pretty big deal, Annie."

"Not really." Annie retorted. "Millius isn't really a big deal." Mina squirmed under her for a few moments more before she sat there exhausted. "What's wrong?" Mina was silent and as if Annie read her mind, she picked herself up and off Mina's back. Annie hoisted Mina up. They stared at each other for a long moment. "Well?" Mina bit her lip.

"Well, I just..."

"Mina." That was all Annie said, and Mina was smiling despite herself.

"Have you ever...you know..." Annie folded her arms, though something slight in her eyes made it seem as though she were actually amused.

"I can't really say that I have," she responded. "I don't really know how to 'you know'." Mina stuck her tongue out. Why, she didn't really even know. She was more embarrassed than anything.

"You know what I mean!"

"No, I don't." Annie's tone was unmistakably sarcastic. Mina thought she'd faint from the embarrassment.

"Well...like...like..."

"Sex?" Mina buried her face into her hands shamefully, managing out a garbled "yeah". "Honestly, who hasn't?" Mina's attention shifted completely.

"W-what?" Mina struggled with the topic. After all, she hadn't really even given the topic any thought, not until Millius had dropped such a bombshell. "Who'd you do it with?" Annie turned her eyes back to her.

"No one."

"No...one?" It suddenly dawned on Mina then, and she gave Annie a playful punch in the shoulder. "You liar!"

"It got your mind off of that 'playboy', didn't it?" Mina paused, and promptly grinned at that.

"I guess you know me pretty well at this point..." Annie only glanced at her, seeming almost disinterested. That was typical of Annie. Mina was quite surprised that they had become as close as they had when they had started off on the wrong foot. "I'd like to think that I know quite a bit about you too," she said with a smile.

The change in Annie was, in a way, terrifying. Her face darkened, accenting her scowl to make it appear even more resonant than usual. Usually, Mina was used to Annie's various scowls and had even been able pick out traces of emotion in them. This one was no different.

"Annie?" The blonde's turn was much more sharp, as though she wanted to hide something.

"You don't know anything about me..." And she was gone before Mina could respond. Mina had watched her go, and it left her somewhat somber. Mina had figured that she was the first friend Annie had had in a while, or perhaps ever. Annie had come to cheer her up and left worse off. Even though Annie would never admit to such a thing. Mina sighed, switching into her sleepwear and climbing into bed. Shadis's push-ups could wait. She was damn tired.

_"_ _I actually fucked all of them."_ Millius formed in her mind again, and the thoughts made her blood boil with frustration, an emotion that seemed to be associated with him at this point. What was it that was eating at him? Whenever she would ask, she was thrown askew. She sighed again. If she couldn't find out about the 102nd from him or the rest of the 104th, then she'd just have to ask them herself. Mina was soon asleep, completely unaware of Annie who sat right outside the door.

"This hurts," she muttered. "This really. Fucking. Hurts."


	4. Third Year- Annie

It was interesting to say the least. The way Mina had grown on Annie couldn't really be described as anything else. How did someone as girly and chatty as Mina manage her way past the walls she had set up? Annie of course, knew she was lying to herself. She could've long pushed Mina aside, made the girl hate her with every bit of her person, but instead, Annie remained put.

If anything, Annie owed to her own curiosity for getting her stuck into such a shitty mess. There were things that Mina or none of the 104th really knew about her. The pain that settled in her chest was usually very subtle, something she'd be able to wipe away with ease, and it wasn't until she had let Mina in that the pain had begun to spread like a wildfire.

After Mina, came Eren.

After Eren, came Armin.

After Armin, was Thomas. And the others followed suit.

It was the pain in her chest that had led her there, standing in front of the boy's dorms, torches littered through the grounds like checkpoints, or flaming skulls. The night guard, one of the elder boys from the 102nd had seen her around during the drills before he had graduated, and had only grinned at her teasingly, as if he knew what she had come here for.

Boys, in that sense, were the last thing she really cared about. The night guard turned a blind eye, and Annie slipped into the grounds, first at a slight speed walk that accelerated into a light jog. A face soon came into view, _his_ face. He stood outside his particular building, sitting at the base of the stairs, in broad view.

"Yo, Annie," he remarked once she was within earshot. Once the details of Millius's face came into view, Annie found that she wanted to strike him. His face was already marred from his usual smooth, almost flawless looking skin. Instead, there was a violet colored bruise just under his eye, his lips a little swollen, and most notably, his nose seemed...crooked for a lack of a better word.

"What happened to you?" Millius dismissed her question.

"Not important. What do you want? You called me out here for something right?"

"Yeah," she remarked shortly. Millius gestured with a hand.

"Then what's up. I'm waiting." Annie's fingers formed into her palm. One snide remark already and she had nearly hit him. The fact that his nose was either broken or displaced made the urge all the more tempting.

"A pig has all the time in the world," she responded coldly. Millius glared at her, venom in his eyes; it was comical and ironic. Millius was in no condition to fight whatsoever.

"I could offer you service," he replied snidely. Annie didn't have time for this.

"Shut up. Not even _you_ would be able to get lucky looking like that." She saw Millius's face quiver, only to realize seconds later that he had risen a brow quizzically. Whoever had done tihs to him did a good job.

"You really think so...?" he suddenly inquired.

"You're nose is a little broken." Millius winced when he placed a hand on it gingerly.

"I hadn't expected Fritz to be as good as he is. Friendly spar." Annie's eyes narrowed.

"It looks far more recent than from this afternoon. It's nearly eight. Free block was at four. Do you really think that anyone would spend their time on something that doesn't even matter?"

"Maybe I'd just want to have a go at you some time."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Me and Fritz just got finished a few moments ago. Right before you showed up." She figured he had to reach for such a lie. It was sad, considering that it didn't hold much weight anyway. She had quickly become aware of how much she _really_ wanted to hit him right then. For having such smooth talk, he was a shitty liar. Millius frowned. "Don't believe me?" Annie shook her head, prompting a slightly agitated sigh from Millius. "You know, you don't really trust anyone outside—"

"Be quiet," Annie interrupted. "Mina doesn't need to be brought into this." Millius grunted, a bit taken aback by the comment.

"Leave her out of it? Isn't she the whole reason why you're here looking at me in the first place?" Annie was quiet then, figuring it was more than enough to suffice as an answer.

"And what if it is?" she spoke carefully, sweeping her bangs aside; Annie chose to ignore the feeling that rose in her chest as he responded, his tone dark and brooding. It was really almost as Mina had described it. Annie held her tongue. Open suspicion wouldn't get her anywhere. Annie gave the situation a second thought. She would've without a doubt be somewhere else, doing something that had some meaning. Shit, why couldn't Mina do this herself?

"Then I would say that's quite uncharacteristic of you, Annie." Millius went in toe toward his dorm, motioning for Annie to follow. "Let's hurry this up. I doubt you want anyone asking questions."

* * *

When Millius shut the door behind her, Annie fought down the urge to really do some damage to his face. She had expected Millius's smooth poetics to surge right then and there, trying to get in her under him like he had done so many other girls who were much less perceptive than she was. She must've been glaring at him, or perhaps\ appearing inapproachable, even for him. His expression was a tad awkward, as if he had no idea where to go from there, like it was his first time alone with a girl.

"I'm not going to even try." He reassured. "I didn't even offer you a seat because I knew you'd feel like I was trying to bed you."

"How many have you gotten since Mina found out?" Annie made sure to sound as bored as possible. She wasn't interested in him in the slightest, but more so about how _he_ was able to manipulate others so well. Millius was intelligent alright. He made her think of Armin really. Annie caught herself. Perhaps that'd be too great of a compliment for someone like Millius.

"Depends," he replied callously, pulling Annie from her thoughts. "How often do you hear talk about 'Playboy Millius?'" Annie shrugged.

"Quite often I suppose." It's a small wonder how you haven't even been reprimanded in the slightest about it. I figured Shadis would've had you skinned alive by now." He waved hi hand dismissively.

"You're horrible at trying to intimidate people without beating the hell out of them." Millius chuckled sharply, sardonically and hoisted himself onto the desk he had been leaning into. "And beyond that, I've had one of the seniors put a word in for me." Annie raised a brow quizzically.

"The 102nd graduated already." And his barbed expression transitioned into one of arrogance. Annie couldn't understand how Mina was friends with someone so infuriating. Even so, Annie kept to her silence, observing Millius in detail.

"That's not what I meant," he shot back, and Annie suddenly knew what he was implying.

"Do you really think a bluff like that is smart?" Again, Millius chuckled.

"Who said it was a bluff? She may have been one of the instructors, but she has a thing for younger guys."

"You're fifteen."

"She was only twenty-three. It's not like anyone lives long in the military unless they're some kind of Levi or Erwin. Hell, some kind of Special Ops Squad material really. Everyone in the scouting legion is crazy good at what they do, but people like Levi, Erwin or Petra are way ahead of the rest." Annie sighed irritably.

"That doesn't justify anything."

"I'm surprised that _you_ even care. If this whole thing was because of Mina and nothing to do with you, why did you even come after me? To lecture me about how I shouldn't be fucking every girl who wants to enjoy themselves before they die? Don't give me that shit." Again, Annie felt something else come on, a smirk that she had to stifle. She had never seen someone so quiet and smooth become so riled up. It was interesting to watch, to dissect someone who figured they were so clever.

Or perhaps didn't know themselves at all.

"Don't you think you're being a little loud?" was all Annie said. She saw at how his jaw clenched, how his body had tensed and stood poised. _How quick the have tables turned_ , she thought.

"Like I care," he spat sharply. "Just don't come to me and tell me how wrong I am when you can't even admit to yourself how much of a shit you give about the people here. _Especially_ Mina. You're here, in my face playing pigeon for Mina when you could've damn well told her that she could come and see me herself." Annie's eyes shifted from him in boredom, staring past him and to the window. "But you wouldn't let yourself let her. Because you really don't trust or like me for that matter."

"No, I don't." The laconic response had only got under Millius's skin all the more and the minute one had spent staring at the other seemed like an eternity. "Are you done? If so, then I'll leave you to Jaeger. I'm sure he'll end up killing you one of these days."

"You think Jaeger did this me," Millius asked, pointing to his nose.

"Of course he did," Annie replied matter-of-factly. "Fritz couldn't do the amount of damage to break your nose that bad. Eren, on the other hand, hits pretty hard." Millius snorted.

"I wouldn't have figured you for thinking so considering you take some sadistic pleasure in beating the hell of him." Annie swept her hair aside a second time.

"Even if I did, it wouldn't change what he's done to you. Besides, we're getting off topic." Millius made no response, and again, Annie just stared at him when he had long averted his eyes. HE sighed after a minute or two. He sat there for a moment, disoriented in his calm.

"I just can't believe Mina—"

"Mina doesn't even know I'm here." Millius gawked slightly.

"But you're—"

"You assumed that." Annie would have to kick herself later. Her thoughts were soon words, something she had never quite had a problem masking. It was always when something dealt with Mina. Always. "I'm here because I need to be." She watched Millius's expression, certain she would see some kind of lust flicker behind his grey eyes. Instead she found nothing of the sort, replaced with a focus of some kind.

"Because you need to be? Mina didn't send you here. If this is your way of saying you want sex then it's a shitty way to do it." Annie ignored the comment.

"Mina would've never come in here herself. She can't really even find it in herself to break light rules let alone sneaking into the boys dorm."

"Shadis probably still intimidates her," she heard Millius mutter.

"But she wants to know why the hell your doing all of this." He raised a brow.

"Fucking." He seemed a little impressed with Annie's coarse language.

"I'm surprised you'd refer to it like that."

" _Anyways_ , it's..." Annie trailed. She wasn't quite used to vocalizing exactly how it felt to watch Mina struggle with Millius's actions, of how much it hurt Annie to see Mina hurt.

"Painful for you." Annie only stared, offering no real implication to what she thought or that she knew he was right. "Annie, there's nothing wrong with having friends. That's what this military shit is all about. All about the bonds we form with others and whatnot because we're all going to have to watch each others backs. Especially for people who'll sign up for the scouting legion." Annie rolled her eyes.

"How touching," she remarked plainly, but Millius was unaffected, and the way he watched made her feel without a doubt uncomfortable. She would've preferred him to leer at her rather than truly attempt to understand her.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Annie's eyes had widened, just fractionally. She was off-put at Millius's actual voice. The sarcasm and bitterness were both gone and his lewd tendencies were to be found nowhere. "I would've liked Mina to come and talk to me in person, rather than feel like she can't trust me." He sighed. "Look Annie, can you at least be honest about it. Just once?"

Was he trying to speak to her as a friend?

Annie had to step away. She turned quickly to the door, still smooth and still controlled.

"This is getting us nowhere. And if you won't tell me what I need to know, then this conversation is over." Annie went to move, but felt Millius's hand clasp onto her shoulder. Reflexively, she spun around, knocking his grasp loose and fist whirring towards his face. Millius was just as quick, swooping to the side of the blow and catching hold of her fist. He made no attempt to hold her down or even throw her as their training had prompted.

All he did was stare at her.

"If you ask the question, then I''ll answer it."

"A no-nonsense Millius is rare isn't it?" Millius nodded curtly. "Alright." Annie closed the door, sitting down onto his bedside, something she saw Millius wriggle his brows in slight surprise.

"Why are you doing this?" He tensed.

"I'm not too used to direct questions anymore..."

"With all of your wordplay and manipulation, I'm not surprised." Millius was silent, and to Annie, it seemed like he wasn't quite thinking of what to say or how to say it. It almost seemed as though he were attempting to numb whatever feeling had come to the fore.

"I guess...it's to get back at her..." He paused. "It's _definitely_ to get back at her." The room was completely silent. Millius's eyes had been averted for sometime until he was looking past her, across to his doorway. Annie's eyes followed and found Jayce standing in the doorway.

"Um...Am I interrupting something?" Annie stood up, passing a glance to Millius before shuffling toward the door.

"Not at all. And Millius," he glanced up, his face a mix of pity and pensive thought. "Try to keep yourself out of the mines." Annie only saw his face twitch toward a smile before she turned and was away from his room.

* * *

She stepped outside, taking in a deep breath of cold air. Her chest was tight and her mind was frothing with contemplation. She thought of Mina and the 104th. She even thought of Millius. He _was_ a good person deep down, something Mina had always vouched for.

_Mina..._ Annie shoved her hands into her pockets, burying her face into the fabric of her sweatshirt. These were human problems, she realized, human emotions and the fact that she felt had to mean _something._ Annie sighed, knowing that no matter how much she wished she could change things, she would very well be the death of all of them.


	5. Third Year- Eren

Eren was often told he needed to learn restraint. Mikasa basically preached it to him every other day. She was always talking about how hot blooded and emotional he was. Thing was, if he thought on it, there would be little saying otherwise.

Even so, the way Millius had been acting was more than enough to set him off. They were the _104_ _th_ and they were supposed to fight together. Millius even shared a few qualities with Jean and of course, those qualities made Eren dislike the boy all the more. When Millius had just about berated Mina last year, Eren's blood boiled and it had occurred to him then that his general dislike of Millius ran much deeper than he had initially thought.

The thought made Eren clench his fist in frustration. This would be the moment where Mikasa would tell him to calm down and control himself. It would also be the point where Eren wouldn't listen. He wouldn't have wanted to listen. In fact, it was probably best that Mikasa wasn't even around. That more than likely would've made things worse. Eren recanted the events that had landed him there, in Shadis's office. He had bumped into Millius a few days ago, working his way onto another girl, one from the younger 105th squad. Just yesterday, Eren had caught the boy making an attempt to bed Achi, something everyone knew wouldn't end well for him.

And it really hadn't. Eren had acted on impulse, striking Millius as hard and as swiftly as possible, along with a slew of obscenities that Eren really couldn't even remember he had been so pissed off. But from what he had heard from gossip between Sasha and Connie, Millius was a sight for sore eyes. Apprently, Eren had hit him hard enough to cause a prominent bruise under Millius's right eye, and had displaced his nose or fractured it, and that was if it wasn't broken. Eren huffed silently. It served the bastard right. Eren knew that it wouldn't take Shadis long to find out, but was almost floored that he sent to Shadis's office a mere hour after everything had happened.

"Jaeger," Shadis spoke, growled really. "From the reports of other recruits, Zacklay and Gray, there's reason to believe that you've had an…altercation with Zermusky…"

"But Gray told me to go for it!" Eren blurted. Shadis remained impassive save for a certain kind of glare that brought Eren to an embarrassed understanding. He could get Lenz in serious trouble if Zacklay were to hear him. Ironically, a part now wished he actually did have Mikasa to help him think clearly.

"There are numerous other reports," Shadis added lowly. "That Zermusky had proof of this altercation through a broken nose." _Shit._ "That is grounds for immediate dismissal, Jaeger. One of the most promising students should know this." Eren swallowed.

"W-well, sir..I, uh, do but I also thought someone like Zermusky was…" Shit. What would Armin say? Shadis raised a brow at Eren's sudden pause. "Breaking the order and sanctity of the military grounds…sir…" Shadis pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It would've been better if you answered normally instead of like Arlert…" There was an awkward pause. Eren sat staring at the man, who stared right back. In a strange twist, Eren found himself observing Shadis. The man was _tired._ Eren could sort of understand Shadis then. Shadis was proud of the 104th and was to a degree, despondent over Eren's impulse. It was fatherly, Eren thought; Eren decided to speak up then.

"Sir… If I'm…uh, expelled, who would fall into the ten?"

"Ymir would fall into the ten after your expulsion."

"Ah…oh…" The talk of the top ten had brought Mikasa to mind again. She would follow him without question and Armin would follow the both of them. Eren could see the concern through Shadis's facade; he didn't want to lose Armin's brilliance or Mikasa's sheer ability. "Maybe punching Millius in the face was a bit impulsive…" Eren piped.

"An understatement Jaeger. We've already touched on that. Shadis sighed, and it made Eren realize how much older Shadis truly was. "This is your warning Jaeger. Try not to end up back here so soon." Eren snapped to his feet in a flawless salute.

* * *

Eren hadn't realized how long he had been holding his breath until he left Shadis's office, or more accurately, the building. Over the three years of training and his close call just now, Eren had come to see how Shadis worked and while he could be tough on them, he had simply weeded through the ones who didn't belong there in the military. For those who managed to remain even with Shadis's intense approach, he was probably the devil incarnate.

There would be nothing to do for the next few hours, and the course that was scheduled was one on advanced military tactics and maneuvering, not that that was a bad thing. It was something Eren would've definitely substituted for more 3D gear training. It was too bad that gear use was restricted outside of training or an actual titan crises. So there he was, sitting amongst the bustling Trost district with little to nothing to do. Eren was inexplicably bored, until he caught Annie in the corner of his eye.

"Jaeger."

"Annie? What's up? You're usually not in the city." She stared at him, stone-faced.

"Training's cancelled." Eren shot to his feet in disbelief."

"What? W-why?" Her eyes were unflinching, something that Eren had gotten used to by now, and instead of repressing a kind of intimidation, he simply waited for her to answer him. "Annie—" She turned her back to him. "H-hey! Annie!" Eren caught a hold of her arm and she tensed visibly, but that was it.

Eren had actually expected to be thrown askew, into the city walls or into the cobblestone. He had been expecting some kind of pain that he was really at a loss when all Annie did was tense and turn to him with the same sharp expression.

"Is fighting really all that important to you?" Eren furrowed his brows a bit. She was the one that had offered to teach him her style. If anything, _she_ was the one who loved fighting. Eren took a breath.

"Not as important as showing off your skills is to you…" It was a snide comment, Eren had to admit, and he knew exactly what would follow when he saw Annie's eyes sharpen just a bit more.

* * *

Annie's knee in his spine was a natural to Eren as breathing now. Eren wasn't certain if his comment had changed her mind or if it was something else, but Annie was there, with her knee in his back with steadily mounting pressure. She was much more aggressive than usual and over the course of the spar, Eren had lost track of whether they were still sparring with "no holds barred" or if Annie was really trying to kill him. He brought his head up with a hoarse breath, but he smirked a little, because throughout their numerous skirmishes, Eren had begun to understand Annie and her cryptic, subtle mannerisms. And from all of her aggression toward him, Eren figured that something had to be on her mind.

Annie was distracted.

"Annie, what's your deal…?" Eren had only managed that through sheer effort. Annie lowered her lips to his ear, her voice hot with fury and perhaps even a hint of flirtatious allure.

"My deal?" Annie pressed her knee deeper into his back again; Eren bucked from the pain.

"Yeah," Eren replied raggedly. "You're distracted and—" One of Annie's hands slipped from his arms to his neck and she tugged sharply. Eren gasped, and suddenly her voice was hot in his ear again.

"You think so?" Eren wanted so bad to tell her of course. That he understood her more than she thought, but it was more than difficult when she had him locked under her and his air restricted. He would've told her a lot of things if she weren't being so rough…

Her hand around his neck was gone abruptly. Annie's weight over him was the next thing to disappear and lastly, Eren's face plopped, a little painfully, into the dirt. His chest heaved and his body burned. After all of that, it was a little disappointing that Annie had told him nothing. He lay there for a moment to catch his breath.

"You seem to be the one distracted," Annie called after him. Eren ignored her and picked himself back up. He reset himself, his fist coming to his face. Eren searched Annie's face for something, a clue of some kind, but her fists obscured most of her face. She was still, more than likely waiting for Eren to make his move. Annie was usually defensive, waiting for someone to move or guard wrong so she could exploit them; Eren was flat-footed when Annie came at him first.

His body was attuned to Annie's strike by now, and Eren was able to focus and shut out the creaking in his arms and legs. He was able to void the burning of his entire body and the burning in his chest and throat. It let him hone in on Annie.

First, he had managed to find her patterns, and that had earned him a bruise under his eye.

Second, he had managed to pin down her distinct style and her tactics to goad him and get him to guard wrong. That earned him an overall better defense and a lucky few potshots.

Last, Eren had found her heel, Annie's weakness and exploited it. She was shorter, and to a degree more, defensive and resolute than he was, so he employed one of the very skills he had learned from her and baited her, feigned weakness and mixed her up. So when Annie lashed out with her kick, Eren had already stepped in with focus and without error. Annie's thigh caught Eren's side, but that was what he aspired for. Eren's arm was around Annie's leg in an instant and Eren swept her remaining leg out from under her. In the few seconds Annie fell, Eren seized the hem of her jacket, pulling her up and over his shoulder and into the earth. He followed her into the dirt, his breath coming into her ear in an ironic twist.

"Is it something about Mina?" Annie grunted with effort and with a precise and vehement buck, threw Eren from over her. Eren rebounded smoothly and was already prepared for Annie's next rush. Eren had learned her particular style at that particular moment, and she wasn't even aware. Annie was upon him, blow after blow and dealt him full-force punches and kicks. For all of her aggression, Annie was _severely_ distracted.

A glancing blow caught Eren in the jaw. He ignored the taste of blood and grabbed hold of Annie again, throwing her into the dirt again, even more fierce and wild than the last. Again he followed her into the dirt and this time, made sure to lock her into place with his body.

"Annie!" Eren was roaring at her now, staring her down with such an irate glare that it was strangely captivating. "Is this something about Mina!?" Annie's struggling ceased and she stared back at him. Eren felt blood well up in his mouth from where Annie had struck him and went to wipe it aside.

Instead, Annie had pulled him into her and forced her lips onto him. Eren had wanted to pull away from her, but stayed in place. He was caught off guard and unaware. His focus was never on girls, and despite that, Eren felt a different kind of fire in his chest, and shamefully one in his groin.

Annie was a violent kisser, and she had bitten him where the blood welled. Her tongue was everywhere, disgustingly so, lapping up the taste of his blood as if she were really enjoying it. Maybe she was, Eren thought.

Eren was suddenly on his back, and Annie hung over him, her face inches from him and her lips were even closer, and fire, a _lust_ had burned in his chest, and Eren hated it.

"What do want to know?" Eren was still, trying his hardest to understand how a sparring had become something so sexual.

"E-everything…" Annie smirked then. "Tell me everything you know…"

Neither one of them could see Mina just a little ways away, who sighed and made her way back to the dorm.


	6. Third Year - Millius

The scratches on his back stung, and they had been burning like that since yesterday. Not only that, but since his "run-in" with Jaeger, Millius had found that his nose had simply been broken, but that was easy to shrug off. He had snapped his nose back into place in broad view of the doctors and nurses, the greener volunteers looking onto him as if he had lost his mind. It didn't bother him any. Fixing the damn thing then allowed him to get back home with little discomfort, and more urgently, to business.

Millius felt himself gag at the thought. Was bedding girls simply "business as usual" now? Millius shifted a little in discomfort at the thought and his back protested a few sharp jabs of discomfort of its own. He sighed, slightly annoyed. It had been from one of his "liaisons" that he had actually gotten the scratches. Millius honestly hadn't really even expected her to be so...wild, for lack of a better word. He felt a little bad that he couldn't even remember the girls name. The only thing Millius could even remember was that she had been older, maybe one of the graduates that had graduated in the earlier 103rd class. Millius frowned.

What was he so worried about her for? No, it wasn't his recent "conquest" that had made him so sick. He had been with most of the younger 105th class, and had even worked his way into some of the older graduates and instructors with a kink he just so happened to fit. Whether it was "blondies" or "being eager", Millius figured he was just there to do what he always did. So why was he suddenly so bothered?

"Eren might as well come punch me in face again so he can fix this shit." An impressed-sounding whistle came through the room then.

"It looked liked Eren hit you really hard actually." Millius shrugged. He had forgotten that Jayce was in the room, though Millius wasn't going to admit that. "You'd want another one of those?" Millius shrugged again.

"You wouldn't get it." Jayce furrowed his brow at Millius then.

"Looks like you're in one of your moods again." Jayce sighed at that. "They were completely absent second year. What happened?"

"Don't worry about it," Millius replied curtly. "And I'm going to go for a walk." Jayce's hand caught Millius's shoulder then.

"Is this still about her?" Millius turned to him, barely concealing his curiosity. Was Jayce really referring to Mina? It must've been plain on Millius's face. Jayce nodded once, enough to tell Millius that yes, he clearly believed that Mina was responsible for Millius suddenly pissy attitude.

"What if I said no?"

"I'd be calling you a fucking liar," Jayce replied heartily. "Come on, how long have you really been after her?"

"I'm not after her," Millius replied bitterly, and Jayce frowned.

"Of course not. You're **_never_ **after her even when anybody pays attention and can see it better than titans smell people."

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't supposed to be," Jayce countered. His tone grew more solid, more bold. "No one knows when the next attack will come through. Maybe that giant titan with no skin will show up again and punch a hole through Wall Rose. What then, Millius?" Millius went to speak but Jayce cut him off, fire raging in his voice and lungs like Millius had never seen. "You're never after her. But when you see her and Eren together, you fume on the sidelines with your distant shit, and I wish you'd knock it off. Either you fight for her, or you stop whining about why she doesn't see you like you her and _**make**_ her!"

Millius came up at Jayce then, grabbing a hold of the boy's shirt and tugging him close, and was certain to make Jayce see his eyes. It was more than surprising when Jayce's aggravated stare didn't quite falter. Neither of them refused to cave.

"You really think you know shit, don't you Jayce," Millius hissed finally.

"Only because I've seen it more than you think. Hell, I'm your roommate. What do you expect?" Millius was quiet, turning his back with an exhausted sigh.

"I'll take care of it."

"By sitting on the sides again?"

"By doing things my way," Millius retorted. Millius caught the slight rise in Jayce's brow.

"Then this is your best time to do it. I run into her quite a bit because I hang around Fritz here and there and I haven't really seen her so much as even speaking to Eren. Or sitting with Annie for that matter." Millius turned back to Jayce then.

"Why not?" Jayce shrugged. "I don't know about Mina getting over him so quickly. I remember you saying that Eren is sort of Mina's kind of guy. Decisive, spirited, kind to his friends and very protective of them. He's not too bad looking either." Millius chuckled sardonically at that.

"That sounds like Mina to pick a guy like that I guess. And what about Annie?" Jayce shrugged.

"Beats me." Millius went quiet then and Jayce's frown shifted into a scowl.

"Stop it Millius. What's so good about Mina that has you so hooked?" Millius stopped to think for a second.

"In a way, it's because I can't have her." Jayce rose a brow quizzically.

"That's it?" Millius made a noise of mockery. "But you've had so many other girls is what I'm saying. You've even somehow got your hands on some of the older students. What's keeping you so hooked to Mina is what I'm asking." Millius shifted, again uncomfortably. He took a deep breath. "Hey, Millius—"

"Because she's all I've ever wanted." Millius laughed a third time, turning to Jayce then to gauge his reaction. It was armored in a way. He was waiting for more, just as he knew there would be. Millius shook his head. "I could never have Mina because she was always outside of my reach. As kids, neither of us were interested, but as we got older, I realized how much she meant to me and how much more I wanted to be to her." Millius paused for another heavy breath. "So I suppose I get a little angry when I see someone like Eren who is able to so easily grab her attention..." Jayce stared a bit before answering.

"And because she's your childhood crush she's worth all of that anger? Everyone knows about 'The Playboy' now, and no one would think the Playboy is actually hurting on the inside." More quiet, but Jayce was sharp. "I still don't understand. Have you been waiting this whole time to fuck her since then? I'm sure there are girls better than her." Millius's mouth tightened again, rubbing his chin, ruefully and even thoughtfully to an extent.

"There are girls better than a straight-laced, goody good, virgin girl like Mina..." Another pause. His last pause, Millius decided. "But whenever I'm with those other girls, Mina is the only one that's actually on my mind. I never really see most of the girls I'm with. Shit, I barely even remember their names. I'm too caught up in trying to figure out why I'm thinking about Mina like that, when I'm doing something like that." Millius gave Jayce a hard stare then, who was truly at a lost for words then.

"I...guess that is a lot to handle...But still, do you really think using girls is the only way to help with your problem?" Millius laughed, standing and shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Of course not, but it's what I've been doing all this time. So until I find a better way, this is all I know how to do." Millius turned his back then, giving a single wave to Jayce. "I'll be on my way out. I just remembered something I have to take care of." And Millius disappeared from view, leaving a dumbfounded Jayce there in thought.

"Hah, he probably remembered one of the girl's names..."

* * *

The scratches on his back evened out slightly, and what was discomfort was replaced by a small, but manageable ebb. Millius had said he was "going for a walk" and instead ended up strolling through the mess hall. He wrinkled his nose. It wasn't a good place for thinking, that's for sure. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Nac bragging boisterously to one of the girls from the 104th, and she seemed blatantly un-enthused by it all.

Toward the center of his sight, Millius saw Armin, Mikasa and Eren, all of them being exactly who they were. Armin's face was glued to yet another book and Mikasa remained still as stone, moving only to mother over Eren. It was a little disgusting if he were honest. Eren, always the oblivious one hadn't even registered Mikasa, and his eyes settled into a heated glare over in Millius's direction.

_How childish._

Millius shrugged it off, turning to the far right of the room, spotting others of the 104th, and an interesting group of them: Krista and Ymir were there dealing with the other boys fawning over Krista, "their goddess" which was also disgusting. Connie and Sasha were having their laugh when Ymir actually ended up kicking the hell out of one of the boys and sent them scattering. Millius rephrased that. It was mostly Connie laughing about that. A little ways from that, there was Fritz. Millius struggled then to remember his actual name for a moment. It was something like Freud...Fredrick...

Friedrich. And he was sitting there, speaking with...Annie, of all people. Millius smirked. He had had first-hand experience with that girl, and she wasn't nearly as evil as everyone made her out to be. She was defensive, anti-social and a total bitch, but not evil. To Millius, Fritz actually seemed a bit attracted to Annie. No. Smitten would've been a better word, a word that Millius's brother would've described his demeanor toward Mina. But Mina wasn't his girlfriend. Just a friend.

And it never bothered him as much as it did before.

Millius's eye flicked to Fritz left, a little toward the center of the room, and there sat Mina. Something burned in his chest then, and he nearly ran to her, catching himself on the first step. He hadn't seen her in a while, he had realized. Not since Eren had broken his nose a few days ago, and not since he had opened up a little to Annie a month and a half ago.

He missed her. He missed her a lot. Had she thought about him since they last spoke? When was the last time they had spoke? The biggest conversation he could remember had been the reason Eren came after him. After that, Mina and Millius only really spoke to each other when they had to.

Millius also wondered if Annie had said anything about what he had told her, that a part of him was doing all of this because he knew that it would cut her so deeply. Most of it was to get back at her, to make her hurt because he was hurting. She didn't know how she was hurting him, so he wanted to return the pain to her twice the amount.

Another part of him was also trying so hard to drown out that very same pain. And as when he had broke down with Jayce, she was in his mind heavily as of late, even there when he was trying so hard to drown out the thoughts of her out with another woman's body, the system simply didn't work.

Millius wondered if Annie had told Mina any of that. He wondered if that was why Mina had been seemingly even more vigilant at hiding herself from people, from him. Did she see how tired he was of being the Playboy? Could anyone really see it?

Someone bumped into him then, with a muttered, "Sorry Millius..." He knew that voice and his eyes followed it to the person, watching them sit at a table, Mina's table actually, and chat. She was a short girl, and wore her hair in a messy blonde bun, like most girls in the military if they didn't just shear it off. She was even still in uniform, a scouting legion uniform, cloak and all, yet she seemed to be around the age of the 104th squad. Maybe she was from the graduating 103rd squad, though he had heard that no one had joined the legion from that class.

Just who was she, and why did she seem to be so friendly with Mina?

Millius stepped a little closer, almost within arm's reach to tap the girl on the shoulder but froze once he heard another voice, Connie's voice, across the hall.

"Is that Tyra!? Tyra Schwartz, you're alive!" And he, along with Sasha, Nac, and even Armin among others rushed up to greet her. It seemed as though Tyra had a few friends in the 104th, and Millius watched only for a short few seconds before he turned away, being quick to stowaway unnoticed from the rest of the eyes of the 104th.

**_Shit._ **

Millius remembered now. Tyra Schwartz, was relatively famous among the classes following after her, and somewhat of a strategic prodigy like Arlert himself. The girl was Millius's age, a still green sixteen, yet she had been a part of the 103rd class, and managed to graduate a year early with the 102nd because her strategic abilities were so unparalleled. He remembered her clearly now, because she was also one of the soldiers and people in general Karanese was most proud of, though Millius's father had garnered a small bit of local fame for his unusually successful forays into titan territory when he was in the legion.

She was one of Mina's closest friends from home, like how he _used_ to be. On top of that, she also happened to be the same girl he slept with last night. He needed to get away, and he needed to go think. Just what had he gotten himself into?

* * *

Millius tumbled through the grounds aimlessly for a bit, uncertain of where the best place to go for thinking would be. He usually made his way out by the edge of the dorms and hung around there until he felt better. But it would be different this time. Instead, he would go to the forest they had used for training with the 3-D gear. Perhaps some practice would actually straighten out his mind. Really, Millius's needed anything to keep his mind from the strange awkwardness that he had just felt, as well as keeping his anxiety over Mina in check. His brother came to mind so abruptly then,

_Why did Mathias die first?_

Millius began trudging in the direction of the forest. _Why did you have to go die and leave me here with all of this? You and your girlfriend had plans, and instead, you run off and die in a titan's stomach..._

His anger was next, appearing as quickly as his thoughts did, and caught him off guard. "Fuck!" And Millius was thrashing at the ground suddenly. Helpless was certainly a word that Millius felt didn't exist. He was usually quite resourceful, like the military tests pointed, like how Mina and his father also pointed out, and how Mathias always helped him garnished. "I...don't know how to deal with this, Mathias..." Millius's eyes were burning. Jesus, was he crying? He wiped at his eyes.

Shit.

He was. It was the first time Millius had cried in a while, and the first time he had truly felt so helpless. He hadn't even cried when his brother had died, citing it as something that was bound to happen anyway. Millius never realized how much Mathias dying had cut into him, and it stretched so far within that it even sabotaged his ability to cope with both Mina and himself. He sighed.

Everything seemed to be so fucked.

"I thought you'd be out here." Millius picked his head up to find Eren, standing tall, who reached his hand out. "Get up." Millius could only stare and Eren withdrew his hand. "Or don't." Millius suddenly gained a grasp on himself, shooting to his feet and trying to sloppily wipe his face.

"W-why are you here?"

"I saw you leave." Millius rose a brow.

"You weren't taken with Tyra Schwartz the famous?" Eren shook his head.

"She's impressive, but she also doesn't like me or Mikasa so we decided to hang back."

"How do you know that for sure?" Eren smirked.

"She's really honest, and I'm okay with that." His eyes narrowed. "At least she's not like you or Jean, where it's all about sneaking around." Millius grimaced, tightening his fist a bit, and Eren, strangely but his hands up in a passive position. "I didn't come here to fight about anything."

"Then why are you here?"

"What do you mean, 'why'? I came to see if you were okay. You left glaring." That statement nearly threw Millius's from his feet.

"You don't like me."

"No, I don't, but that's what this 'military shit' is all about." Millius caught the use of those words. "We're going to need to watch each other's backs if we're going to join the military. Whether we like each other or not." Millius was pensive.

"'Have you been talking to Annie?"

"Why?"

"Just answer me, Jaeger." Eren half-glared.

"Yeah, why?" Millius stumbled.

"Just curious..." Eren sighed.

"You should stop being such a baby." The words caught Millius's attention. "Just because Mina doesn't love you back doesn't mean you have to be so cold to her. You two are friends. Just because you don't get what you want doesn't mean to treat her like crap. She can't help how she feels." Millius sighed. He had never expected Annie to open her mouth about anything. Most of this was menial at best in her eyes.

"Does that mean you're fucking her," Millius remarked snidely. Eren glared, and crack a few knuckles.

"I'm not, and I don't care. I could really hurt you, you know. I'm trying to be nice here." Millius smirked, and oddly enough, Eren returned the sentiment. "And I don't want to do that. Despite all of your shit, I still like you better than Jean." Millius chuckled, a little more heartily than he should've.

"Thanks. At least I'm not at the bottom of the barrel. Nice to know."

"Also," Millius heard rustling and he found a paper note, slightly crumpled in Eren's hands. "Mina wanted me to give this to you. It's a little roughed up, but I think you could still read it." Millius took the note from Eren, trying to hold back the lump in his throat. "Calm down, Mina said it's from Tyra, and Tyra said it was confidential." Millius stared at the letter for a moment.

"When did you get this?"

"It was just before I went after you. Don't ask how I managed to do that, okay?"

"I won't." The two stared at each other awkwardly.

"What's wrong?" Millius laughed.

"I guess this is where I say 'thanks' or whatever. I never thought crazy bastard like you would help with 'living'." Eren frowned.

"But that's why we're living now. To fight for all the other people and soldiers that died before us. My mother brought me into this world as free, and I'm going to live my life as it was meant to be. I'll be living harder still for her." Millius chuckled forlornly.

"Then I suppose I should be living for my brother then too..." Eren suddenly smiled then.

"Yeah, you really should. Now stop being a baby and come on. You're smart, so you'll figure something out." Millius nodded.

"Alright, but go on ahead. I'll be behind you, alright?" Eren shrugged, and was on his way back to the mess hall. Millius frowned. Tyra had probably seen all of this coming the moment she had bumped into him by accident. It had been a very long time since Millius had truly spoken to her, but he still remembered how sharp her mind was and how certain Karanese pridefuls called her their answer to Erwin. Millius wiped the thought from his mind and unwrinkled the letter:

_"Millius,_ _It's been sometime since we've last seen each other, and I'm actually really happy we've gotten such a chance to meet up. Mina was also really excited when I came here unexpectedly. Since Wall Maria has been broken into, it's been really difficult for me to catch my breath and write down letters. I'm happy that we could also catch up a bit. If I remember right, we were a little like Eren, Armin and Mikasa when we were younger weren't we? You were always picking fights with boys who would poke fun at Mina and I would follow either of you wherever you went, just to make sure you wouldn't get in over your head especially._ _But, I'm also a little perplexed at how things how come to be between the three of us. Last night was a given, and I've always held a special place for you in my heart since we were younger, but I also knew that you had a heart of your own that dealt so strongly with Mina. I figured you wouldn't notice it until we got a little older, but I'm surprised that so much has happened and taken a toll on you. I never actually got to tell you that I'm sorry about Mathias and that if I had been able to do anything, I would've done so. Still, Mina has already told me a lot of the situation between her, you, Annie and Eren. Please, don't blame her. You know how Mina is. And if you really love her, then just be direct with her. If you two can learn to understand each other's viewpoints in this, then I'm sure you can remain friends even if this ends badly..._ _Oh, and Millius, even though I enjoyed last night, I think you should hang it up if you're serious about Mina. No one ever wants to look inside themselves, but that's the best place we'll be able to fin our answers. I really hope you find yours. Be safe."_

_Regards,_

_Tyra_

* * *

Millius had re-read the letter at least three times within the first few minutes before finally folding up the paper and tucking it away in his pockets. His heart was heavy, that was for sure. Still, for the first time in a while, Millius felt as though he weren't alone.

"I'll be careful," he muttered to himself. "I'll be sure we'll all meet again..."


	7. Third Year- Mina

It was busy today, Mina thought. More so than usual for the city. Even more than usual for a Survey Corps arrival. The Legion had only paused for a sharp two days to rest, and were already about their preparations to mobilize again. Mina had learned that from Tyra that the legion were to put some new tactical ideas into practice, and that Tyra hadn’t been exaggerating when she had been saying the legion kept her busy; Mina paused.

_Last night…._

It had been 48 hours since she had connected again with Tyra, and 24 hours since Mina had “updated” Tyra on her ‘friendship’ with MIllius. Mina could still feel the sharp sting of Tyra’s knowing smirk, and her warming chuckle; that had led Mina to the discovery of her letter, and Mina’s subsequent and albeit, slight panic. But once Mina had read the letter herself, she had relaxed and remembered exactly _who_ it was that had wrote the letter. Mina would’ve described it as warm, perceptive and ‘on the nose’, as Tyra described it which again, reminded Mina of exactly who had written the letter.

The warmth evaporated there instantly, as Mina remembered that she was awake, early, on one of her few days to relax to see Tyra off, and frankly, she was definitely a little irritable. Trost district was suddenly rumbling with a combination of hooves and Erwin’s thunderous “Onward!” charge to rally, or adhere to legion tradition at this point, and Mina watched as they passed through the gates, becoming smaller and smaller.

Mina realized she was frowning, and was suddenly aware that she was _sad._ She laughed under her breath, a little sheepishly; Millius would have told her that she wasn’t being her usual self. He would’ve been the first to say something about it, and he would’ve been right of course.

Millius…  
  
Mina missed him, and Tyra had claimed that she had missed him much more than she let on, and at first Mina had been a little indignant at the thought, but as Mina stared at the gate and thought on the fact that Tyra would be gone again indefinitely, or, that she may even not come back, Mina was suddenly alone.

She missed that ‘smooth talking dickhead’ quite a bit; Mina sighed again, still dejected.

It had been 48 hours since Mina and Tyra had reconnected, 24 hours since they had spoken about Millius, and about 10 seconds since Mina had made her decision, the one that Tyra was pushing for in the letter: She needed to find Millius.

* * *

Mina scoured through the district and all of the usual places she had taken to avoiding because of him. She checked the marketing sector, she searched the military libraries too. Mina had even gone as far as to knock on a few doors around the girl’s dorms, even if it still nipped at her a little. She hadn’t found him in any of the places where she thought he’d be, and Mina had slowed, uncertain exactly how, or where to proceed. She was staring blankly down the barracks hall.  
  


“O-oi..Mina…?” Mina tensed for a split moment, and then made note that the voice had sounded boyish…and _familiar_ …. So she turned, and foud that she had turned her attention to an all too familiar Eren Jaeger.

Mina blinked a few times, making sure that she was seeing what she thought she was.

She was.

He was shirtless, body carved from the 3DM gear. Her eyes were washing over him rapidly, but taking him in slowly. His shoulders were broad, at least by her standards. His collarbones were a little pronounced, accenting his skin tone and—

Mina forced her eyes shut, and inhaled sharply; She heard Eren call for her a second time.

“H-hey,” he was straining really hard to be quiet.

“Eren,” Mina exhaled, slowly, before answering. “What are you doing here? The girl’s barracks?” Eren seemed to hesitate then, uncharacteristic for him and Mina narrowed her eyes slightly.

“I-um, was training…” Mina’s lips tightened. She almost didn’t hear the “with Annie” part; she had been too busy remembering what she had seen.

“Training? With Annie?” Eren’s face flushed.

“H-Hey! It’s not what it looks like!” Mina saw the desperation there for a split second. He brought his voice back down. “I really needed to use the bathroom and this was the nearest place! I couldn’t really find anywhere outside where there weren’t people!” He was at loud whisper now, which might as well have been him just talking. Mina gave a slight shrug; she took another deep breath. Why did she have to run into _Eren_ of all people?

“I mean, if that’s the case, then just make sure you don’t get caught sneaking around. You breaking Millius’s nose a second time is still a little touchy.” Eren gave a terse, awkward nod, and instead of that same awkward feeling disappearing for her, it seemed to escalate for them both as there were now standing in silence.

It had been so long since Mina had spoken with Eren, or anyone really, Mina was certain that the both of them could tell, and Mina wasn’t quite sure if she were wearing her heart on her sleeve, and having seen Eren, half-naked and sculpted, and having felt herself caught in that moment had only reminded her of all the questions she didn’t have an answer to.  
  
Was Eren really training with Annie?

Were they fucking?

Did either of them even know that she had seen them?

Did Annie _even realize_ what she did?

“Uh, hey, Mina…” Eren’s voice brought Mina back, and she must’ve been wearing her turmoil openly, because Eren was suddenly close to her, hand on her shoulder. His eyes were solemn and genuine, and strangely, the look of them made Mina even more annoyed. “I mean, this is awkward but… you seem like something is bothering you.” He was frowning, and Mina’s lips tightened a little more. “Are you okay?”

Almost immediately, Mina wanted to hit him.

Instead, she balled her fingers into her palms, rubbing the insides to calm herself down.

“I’m looking to Milllius,” Mina blurted, and Eren’s face lit up in surprise.

“Millius? How long has it been since you’ve talked him? It’s been almost 3 weeks, or something like that, right?” Mina shrugged, this time openly, and she could feel Eren’s eyes sharpen on her when so suddenly appeared so tired.

“Why are you asking so suddenly?”

“Because we haven’t really talked in the past three weeks either…” Eren paused, and his face shifted into something that seemed close to somber. “For a moment,” he added, uncharacteristically meek even, “I thought we weren’t friends anymore.” Mina grimaced.

_He doesn’t know…_

“I just…haven’t really felt like talking much…” Mina held her ground as Eren’s eyes shifted in tone.

“That’s not like you.” Mina shrugged. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” she responded, a little too quickly for her liking. “No worries!” He didn’t seem all that convinced.

“Is it Millius again?” Mina’s breath caught there, and she quickly responded.

“You don’t have to break his nose a third time, and besides…” Mina took a deep breath. “It doesn’t really matter all that much. Not when you’re…fucking Annie…” Eren recoiled.

“M-Mina!” Mina frowned, and shrugged a second time.

“I told you, it doesn’t really matter.” Eren had looked away then, some strange mixture between embarrassment and perhaps a slight hint of shame.

“I-it wasn’t like I planned it... Annie—“

“Made her move. I know…” Eren seemed to understand then.

“Did Annie tell you…?” Mina shook her head.

“I’ve known for a little bit now. About three weeks.” Mina saw the full breadth of understanding dawn on Eren then.

“You _saw_ that?” Another shrug.

“I actually went to see if you and Annie would be able to help me out with close quarters too. You guys are always training and you got really good so…”

“H-hey, Mina—“

“I know, I know stop apologizing. You didn’t do it but still.” Mina’s eyes cast down then. “Annie knew even if you didn’t. So, I don’t understand why she would have even done something like that…” Eren was silent for a few moments, and Mina had hoped actually, that it would stay that way.

But she was never all that lucky in these moments.

“I mean, we could talk to her about it, right..? This can’t be all _that_ big of a deal, right?” Mina was digging her nails into her palms now, hard.

He was so clueless.

He was so oblivious.

So... _Eren_. And Mina, for a split moment, could see how Annie would’ve found herself attracted to him, or his idealism, more accurately. It was a part of her reason for having fallen for him herself. But looking at him now, Mina wasn’t quite sure if she had really been seeing Eren for who he really was, or for more than he actually was.

Even so, Mina found that she couldn’t be livid with Eren, only disappointed. She gave a somber smile; Millius would have definitely said something more tasteful, appropriate.

“It is, actually,” was all Mina could muster from her seemingly barren throat. She felt like she had lost her voice, and a part of her was annoyed to find that she even wanted to cry. “But I’m Mina Carolina, and I’m supposed to be happy for everyone, right?” Eren was silent. “So… I’ll just do what I do best, right?” Mina felt her eyes burning.

_Don’t you dare cry, Mina…_

Eren’s eyes shifted again, and they were in moments, mirroring hers. Eren’s low murmur wasn’t what she had expected.

“I guess…Millius would know what to say, wouldn’t he?” Mina gave an abysmal nod, all of her efforts tied up and focused inward.

Another pause, and then Eren spoke up again. “I, um, bumped into him, when Tyra came along...” Those words grabbed Mina’s attention.

“She…gave you a letter…?” Eren nodded.

“Yeah, but I didn’t read it or anything. Tyra actually wanted me to specifically give it to Millius. I didn’t think I would find him the way he was. He was pretty emotional.”

That was new to Mina. Then again, she had also decided to leave when she had caught wind of Millius looking her way, and with a somber glare no less; Tyra probably had given him the letter after that.

“So, if that helps,” Eren continued, “maybe you’ll find him from that.”

“I never said I was looking for him.”

“But you are. He would know what to say, wouldn’t he?” Mina found that she had no way to respond. Eren wasn’t wrong, that was certain.

“He would. And… I guess, if he got the letter, he’s probably off somewhere secluded…to think…”

“Then you should go find him,” came Eren’s curt reply. “You guys are friends, so maybe you’ll figure something out.” Mina raised her brows at that. Eren was a good talker when he wanted to be.

They both felt a shift, and both Mina and Eren turned toward the hallway, to find Annie standing there, also half-dressed.

Mina suddenly felt nauseous. She managed a small “thanks Eren” and left the dorms.

* * *

Mina had wondered exactly why it had taken her as long as it did to figure out that he would be where he was.for the first few moments, they sat in silence, hundreds of feet above Wall Rose. Mina tried her hardest not to look down, and focused straight ahead, like Millius. The thought of titans down at the base of walls made her apprehensive.

What if she fell?

Would the titans catch her?

Would she just fall to her death? Both options made her stomach churn in horror.

“I’m surprised you came looking for me.” Mina shrugged, a little grateful Millius had said something. Mina was suddenly, and painfully aware that she had nothing to say in response, so she only managed to nod shortly and a little bashfully. “How did you know I’d be here?” _Damn_ , Mina thought. She had barely had any time to really process the first question.

“I just…” She was trying really hard now, so very hard to slip by the Playboy. It was always so hard to tell who she was talking to. She sighed inwardly. She was also so very tired, so why not be honest about it? “I just…stopped looking for the ‘Playboy’.” Mina had turned to him, and caught a wry, tired grin at the corners his mouth; he didn’t look back at her. He let out a chuckle.

“It’s just…all Millius here…”

“’My Millius’?” Mina saw Millius wince a little, and she realized that she may have said that a little derisively. But still, it had been a while that it felt like she had actually talked to Millius.

It was like she was actually winning a conversation with him.

“You must really feel like you’re being put to work if that’s the first thing you have to say to me.” His tone was flat, and Mina took the bait, a little indignant.

“Well, yeah!” Mina stumbled in thought at first. “You haven’t really been the easiest to talk to. The last time we actually talked—”

“Was during the legion’s benchmark tests—”

“Just after they arrived this time, yeah.” Mina finished for him. “And Eren almost attacked you _again_ for the third time. Your nose can only take so much, Millius.” Millius had thrown a half-hearted shrug in her direction; he still didn’t so much as glance at her.

“So, actually, why did you come looking for me if we’re just going to argue? I thought that was something you saved for the Playboy.”

“Well, I thought things would have changed, but I guess I was being…naïve again…” Mina exhaled a terse breath. “I…miss my friend, so I thought that maybe he would want to talk after a while…” Mina thought she had seen the corners of his lip twitch a slight bit.

“You missed me?”

“Well, yeah…” It was a bit of a timid response on Mina’s part. Millius turned to her then, and Mina felt her entire body freeze.

And then, he laughed.

He laughed hard. And Mina thought she was going to slap him.

“Wait, why are you laughing? What’s so funny...?”

“Because your timing is way too perfect. You think I really believe that you’re here entirely because you wanted to see me?”

“Well—”

“Tyra convinced you, didn’t she?” Mina suddenly perked up.

“Yeah, but it’s a mix of both. And…I’m guessing that means you got the letter...” Millius paused, and Mina assumed that he was already working through multiple responses in his head. Instead, he simply nodded. That was certainly unexpected.

“Are you mad at her,” Was Mina’s small response.

“Tyra? Well, a little because you don’t really care for the Playboy.”

“But I care about you, and this ‘Playboy’ side of you is stupid and reckless.” He gave her another one of his signature shrugs that still, at that very moment, made Mina want to tear his head loose.  
  
But she kept her cool, choosing to get a much better look at Millius’s expression.

He had been thinking a lot, and Mina could tell that Tyra’s letter had a profound effect on him. He seemed much more like himself, like Millius. Quiet, reserved, quick-witted and strong, if not a little brooding. There was a plethora behind his eyes, she knew it. She only wished he would talk to her about it.

“Were you there when Tyra wrote the letter?” the question was sudden and Mina quipped a “no” a little too quickly. “That sounded a little defensive if you ask me.”

“Millius,” Mina interjected. She already knew what he planned to do, and she was not having it. “Let’s not do this. Please.” He fixed her with a hard stare, and surprisingly, Mina held her ground.

“Huh. Then what _do_ you want to do?” Normally, Mina would have seen that as a pass at her. Something amorous. Mina had something to say however, and the voice that came from her was solid, and steely, entirely foreign to herself. At least, when it came to talking to Millius.

“I want to figure all this out.” Millius blinked at her a little confused.

“That’s…not much of an answer.”

“It’s too direct of an answer.”

“You sound so sure.” Mina narrowed her eyes at him a little, a small smirk was tugging at the corners of her lips now.

“I am. And there’s no reason to be so defensive, Mllius.”

“I’m not,” he retorted, a little sharply. Mina paused, made a note of her expression, then frowned

“Millius, what’s wrong?” He turned to her, brow furrowed and eyes pointed sharp down at her; he was utterly at a loss at what to say because no one had ever even genuinely _asked_ him. For a split second, Mina saw everything, and in that same split second, Millius turned away. Millius was struggling.

“Everything,” was all Millius could say with a shudder. “Mathias being dead, you, Eren, _everything!”_ There was a certain weight of knowing that settled in Mina’s chest then; she waited.

She waited three full minutes before Millius turned to back to her, before he looked at her entirely. And again, Mina saw everything. This time, though, Millius wasn’t hiding anything.

Millius talked.

And Mina listened.

He reminded her, and told Mina in detail about Mathias, how his death tore his family apart, told her details that Mina had never once thought to consider.

He told her about the Playboy, about how the system didn’t work for him.

He had told her how he had wanted to hurt her because she had hurt him.

And Mina had listened.

Despite tears.

Despite anger.

Despite an almost overwhelming desire to throw him from the walls, to truly never speak to him again, Mina listened. She had come looking for him, hadn’t she? Mina remembered reading the letter, and decided to still listen.

Mina realized that he had nearly told her everything, and the last bit of his pain was hanging on the end of his tongue, something so strong and truthful that Mina herself could feel exactly what it was.

Yet, Millius had clammed up, and was suddenly withdrawing into his isolation again. Mina held his eyes still, and for all of his anger, she found it a little ironic that Millius was the one that couldn’t hold their gaze now. He even chuckled under his breath a little bashfully.

“I don’t even know why I said anything.”

“Because it was eating you from the inside out.”

“I probably should have shut up.”

“But it’s nice to have someone to talk to isn’t it?” Millius offered no response, but Mina saw him press his mouth into the sleeve of his shirt, probably attempting to hide his relief. “But I have a question though.” Mina watched as his eyes flicked to her; she had his utmost attention. He was actually anxious she realized.

“Go for it.” His voice was deceptively cool; typical Millius, she thought.

“What about me?”

“W-what?”

“What about me?” Millius was suddenly tight-mouthed.

“I don’t know exactly what that means.”

“Of course, you do.” Mina managed one of her best smiles then, enough to let Millius know that she had heard many things up to that point, and also, that she, in her own way, was _livid_ with him. “I want to hear you say it.” Mina’s tone hardened, demanded in such a way that Millius had never heard before. The two only stared at each other, Millius to her in disbelief, and slight embarrassment.

“Say it…?” Mina nodded.

“You said the ‘Playboy System’ didn’t work, and it didn’t work because of me…So, I want to hear you say it.”

Millius was speechless.

“I…there isn’t really much to say…”

Mina snickered, mostly intentionally at his response. “You know exactly what I mean.”

“I’m…sorry…?” That earned him another snicker, this time more pronounced. Mina pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance.

“That would actually make it worse. Millius, you’re smarter than this.” Mina was sharp with her words. If she were honest, maybe a little (a lot, really,) of her anger, her own violence was coming to the fore. They were friends, and Millius had done all of _this_?

“Mina—” She cut him off.

“All of those girls, instructors and classmates were just bodies to you. Just something to pass the time, right?” Millius was silent. “You took them because you couldn’t have _me?_ That’s too hard for me to believe. And then you say you did all this to _hurt me_?” Her voice sharpened. Maybe even for a short moment, Mina hated Millius.

“I just—”

“What would make me any different from any of them? How do I know if you’re serious this time? How do you expect me to even _trust you!_?”

“Because you’re all I’ve ever wanted, okay!?” Mina’s face was still hot, buzzing a little from her anger; Millius didn’t look at her. “It’s been this way for a while,” he mumbled. “And you expect me to compete with Eren…?” Millius clenched his jaw then.

_Eren…_ Mina had entirely forgotten that Eren was one of the main reasons that she had found Millius, and his hook-ups with Annie had been one of her driving reasons to come find Millius in the first place.

“Is that what you wanted me to say?” Mina’s tone returned to normal, she had even sounded maybe even a tad bit ashamed.

“…Tell me what you want, Millius…” He was looking at her again, a mix between disbelief and a strange sense of hope.

“I just…want to try it out with you. That’s it.” Mina snickered a third time, a half-smile painting her face.

“Then…maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try it out. Just this once.” …” A part of Mina had inwardly kicked herself for the words; another part of her wanted to scream. One thing was for certain however: at that moment, Mina was certain that she had never seen Millius so ecstatic.


	8. Graduation

A lot of the time, Millius had to pinch himself. At first lightly because if he were dreaming, he didn't want to wake up, and then, harder, because he felt like he _needed_ to wake up. The feeling that worked from his chest outward to the very tips of his fingers and then burned into his cheeks and into every facet of his being was beyond foreign to him.

Or maybe he had just gotten too used to brooding. He often found himself smiling way too hard for his liking, so much that his face would hurt; he always figured that people exaggerated when they said that. Still, he would have never expected Mina to have gone looking for him, or to really have even given him a chance. He wouldn't have been surprised if she had slapped him all over again, like last year.

But she was there on his arm, holding onto him just tight enough, the corners of her lips arched slightly upwards that would open up into a bright flash of a smile that only Mina Carolina was capable of. It had been a whole four months, essentially pushing the 104th into a complete third year. Their graduation was actually approaching very soon. It had dawned on Millius that he had probably worked harder than he ever had before in his life for moments like these. Both Nac and Jayce had teased him with knowing smirks, and while the _entire_ 104th knew Millius had been wanting this moment for the three years they've known him, Jayce and Nac both knew he had been waiting for what was essentially his entire life; he had actually gotten the girl.

Millius had also realized that he wasn't the only one that had managed to decompress, even if a little. Mina had definitely begun to melt back into herself, less guarded and warm, like he always enjoyed. It had actually been her idea to come down into the heart of Trost for what Hannah and Franz had told the both of them to refer it as "collective studying". The secrecy wasn't something Millius really understood all that much.

"Hey, Mills," came Mina's voice. "Look at those two." Millius flinched.

_Mills?_ Mina had re-discovered her comfort with him, that was certain. He followed her direction, finding that speaking of comfort, Hannah and Franz had certainly found theirs while they were waiting, the two of them a little too caught up in the other. Millius cringed before loudly (and awkwardly) clearing his throat.

There was an exchange of bewilderment between the two at first, then they quickly worked their ways apart from each other.

"H-hey you guys! You shouldn't sneak up on us like that!" Millius grunted, but quickly glanced at Mina for her reaction. An eyebrow raised, she didn't seem any more convinced than he was.

"Come on, Franz. Everyone knows anyway."

"D-do they now…?"Millius nodded matter-of-factly and turned his eyes to Hannah, who was grinning sheepishly. At least she seemed a little more comfortable with it, Millius thought. He felt a slight elbow in his side, which was Mina's warning to be nice, and Millius turned his face into the collar of his uniform to hide his own grin he just couldn't contain.

"You guys are so open about it." Mina giggled.

"Well, I mean, why not? If everyone knows, then why hide it?" Both Mina and Millius caught Hannah's ever so subtle side-eye toward Franz.

"It makes sense," she replied with a giggle. "But it might also be kind of a good idea to keep things personal too. You never really know who might be out to ruin things for you." Millius wrinkled his nose at that.

"Hey, yeah. Speaking of, how have you guys dealt with everything?" It was Franz. "You know, now that Millius isn't the 'Playboy' anymore?" Mina went to respond.

"We just sort of-"

"Don't worry about it, Franz." Millius's voice was sharp, and he felt his face draw into a scowl. "The Playboy isn't around anymore, so that's all that really matters."

"Millius hey, chill out." _Mina…_ "Franz sounds like he was only curious, right?" Franz assented with a nervous nod.

"Hey, I didn't mean to hit on something so touchy for you. I mean, just… to go from so many to just one-"

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Franz turned back to Hannah, slightly frantic.

"H-hey! I'm not saying I'm jealous or anything. Just that they seem so happy together despite his reputation!" He laughed nervously, but both Hannah and Millius were glaring; he could see Mina looking at all three of them with concern. She spoke up.

"Hey guys, he really does only seem curious. And Millius, maybe he's just looking for a way to be a little more confident." Mina offered Millius a smile, and his glare softened, just fractionally. "It looks like Hannah wants to be a little more open their relationship anyway. Maybe Franz was just asking how you're so open with me is all." Millius relaxed his shoulders a little, his eyes flicking over to Franz, who was still on edge and solicitous at Hannah’s and more importantly, Millius’s reaction.

“I don’t really think anyone else’s opinions should matter,” Millius replied with his casual shrug He could feel Mina’s eyes narrow in slight annoyance at him. It seemed liked she would never really care for that shrug. “If you like someone, then that’s that.” Millius breath caught for a quick second. “Especially when you get the girl that you want. At least you didn’t really seem to have that problem, right?” Franz faltered.

“Well, ah, yeah but… you are—” Millius’s scowl deepened. “Ah, _were **the**_ ‘Playboy’. Everyone knew, so…”

“They weren’t anything,” Millius refuted coldly. There was another elbow in his side, this time a little harder. Millius wrinkled his nose again, realizing that he probably was going too far. This was supposed to be a double-date after all. He slackened his scowl a little.

“Well, Millius…” He turned his attention back to Hannah. “Do you think you have anymore tips for Franz? I mean, I guess he can be a little shy. I guess…” she paused. “I guess he can be a little like me, even if he is a boy.” She giggled and Franz turned to her in embarrassment.

“I’m trying, okay?” Millius slackened his scowl entirely, his expression dropping into a slight melancholy and he watched the two bicker back and forth for a slight few moments. Franz and Hannah made cute couple, he thought. And they really were just asking him for his help. Franz could just be a little dense when it came to talking about romance. This wasn’t new to him, or the 104th.

He felt Mina squeeze his arm just slightly, grabbing his attention.

“Hey,” he looked down to her, catching a warm, tight-lipped smile. “Take it easy, okay?” Millius gave a low chuckle, dropping his eyes from hers in a slight embarrassment and responding with a breathy “yeah”. They both heard Franz’s voice again, directed at the both of them.

“See, that’s what I mean! How are you two so comfortable!?”

* * *

The rest of the date had passed on surprisingly fast, and for once, Millius felt as though he had an actual sense of what he was doing. Between both his and Franz’s neutrality, it was left up to the girls to decide what they were doing, which could have been anything from Hannah and Mina’s mutual love of flowers, to Hannah’s surprising hobby of wine-crafting to Mina’s much-admired love of and skill in dancing. They eventually settled on the combination of the two, starting first with dancing, something that Millius had felt bad for forgetting about, but something Mina was all too eager to remind him of.

He found that he was able to catch on quick, remembering that they had danced often together as kids, attempting to imitate his brother and his girlfriend in both traditional Karanese partner dances and in informal social dances; Millius found that he preferred the partner dances, and that when Franz and Hannah asked to be taught and to try their hands at it, Millius realized that he enjoyed the dances much less when paired together with Franz.

Millius also later learned that among the four of them, Mina also was surprisingly strong in holding her alcohol, and that actually, both the girls had a tolerance for it and by the time they each had had their third glass of wine, Millius was certain that he could feel the world spinning; he had turned to Franz, who was asleep at the one of the tavern tables. It seemed as though Franz was simply falling short of everything today.

Millius, with the help of Hannah and Mina, thankfully, eventually managed to heave the boy to his feet, and managed eventually to get the boy back to the barracks, somehow, without Shadis knowing. He had been surprisingly solid and well built; it reminded Millius of Reiner, who, ironically ended up helping them after he had spotted the three of them struggling. Millius also could remember reading Reiner’s expression all too clearly, that clearly said that he knew for certain that he and Franz were maybe a little _too_ drunk.

By the time Millius had made it back to his dorm room, he had found a pail next to Jayce’s bed with a makeshift letter reading: “Take the bottom bunk, you drunk bastard”. Millius let out a small giggle.

“I’m not even that drunk,” he muttered.

“You look pretty damn flushed to me.” Millius whirled around nearly tripping over the pail can, but lost his footing and crashed into the floor anyway.

“Damn it, Jayce!”

“Come on, you make it too easy. And I’m trying to help you.” Millius swung himself upward, sitting upright with a small half-grin written across his face, the high-sign of inebriation. “Man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this loose before, what happened?” Millius laughed.

“Did you have any idea Hannah knew how to make wine? And I mean, _good_ wine.” Jayce’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“She can _what?_ ” Millius nodded, and suddenly Jayce was sitting on the floor eye-level with him. “You gotta’ tell me how it went.”

“So actually, I guess Hannah is kind of a drinker and…” Millius thought he would have bitten his lip off somehow. He could refocus himself if he really tried, but at the same time, Jayce had made a point, Millius hadn’t really been all that loose in a while. He felt as though he were talking _very_ fast, but Jayce stopped him.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s not?”

“No. I mean, Hannah being a drinker is a little weird…and unexpected. Like, wow, didn’t see that one coming, but I’m talking about the date, not you getting drunk.” Millius turned to him, staring blankly for a slight moment; his focus returned to him just seconds later.

“Oh, the date? It was fine…I guess.” Silence. “And how did you know we were going on a double date anyway?”

“You went on a _double_ date? Wait, with who?” _Shit…_ “It was probably Hannah and Franz, right?” **_Shit…_**

“How did you even figure that out anyway?”

“I mean, you’re doing a great job of helping, actually.” Millius made an attempt to glare a him, but laughed instead.

“Why are you so invested anyway?”

“Because you _got the girl_ and _made your move_. Remember all of that crap we got into toward the beginning of the year?” Millius grunted casually.

“Yeah, I remember.” The fog in his head had cleared somewhat, something Millius was a little thankful for. That would be the first and only time he would try to outdrink Hannah.

“Besides, look at you, all happy and stuff.” Millius flushed.

“Knock it off.”

“Sure thing there, ‘Franz’. For anyone that paid attention, I guess it would be kind of obvious that you guys were going on a double date. I think you two are the only actual established couples now.”

“What about Connie and Sasha?” Jayce shrugged.

“You would think, but I guess they’re just really, really close.” The haze was all about gone.

“Hey, Jayce, you’re not the only one really watching me and Mina, are you?” Millius gauged his roommate’s reaction, but he was mostly undeterred, save for a slight raise of his eyebrow.

“I wondered if you were gonna’ notice or not.”

“Franz asked me something a little interesting so I was curious is all.” Almost immediately, Millius felt a familiar brooding set over his shoulders, which actually annoyed him. He didn’t have time for these same feelings that he had been fighting for so long. The last thing he wanted was to ruin what he had going for . _Mathias would know what to say…_

“What’d he ask you?”

“Something like ‘how did me and Mina make things work’.” Jayce’s expression didn’t change, save for a slight, save for a slight ripple of curiosity.

“What kind of question is that?”

“He was asking how we ‘dealt’ with everything. He was talking about the ‘Playboy’.” Millius glowered at nothing.

“I mean, I guess you could say there’s more people watching than you’d think.”

“I guess I can’t say I’m surprised. I guess there’s probably a lot of people that could be upset.”

“You mean girls.”

“It’s whatever. They’re gonna’ have to learn to deal with it now. Playboy’s dead and that’s all there is to it.” Millius sighed tiredly smirking with a strange sense of knowing. “You know it like I do. I got what I wanted, and I’ve worked way too hard to get her to get comfortable with me again. There’s no way I’m going to let _anyone_ ruin this. Not even me.” Jayce clapped slowly; the sarcasm was heavy.

“Now, only if you had smart enough to not bang everyone in the military. But still, you’re not irritable nearly as much and that’s a definite plus. It’s pretty cool when you’re like this.” Millius stood up, knocking over the pail he had been next too, and climbed onto his bunk, staring at the ceiling in thought, with levity, for once. Things were going to be good, he decided.

“Thanks, I think so too.”

* * *

Giving Millius a chance had probably been one of the most precarious things Mina had ever done. On one hand, she had become sorely impressed with exactly how much Millius had seemed to _change_ right before her very eyes. While she could most definitely see his bad habits still, he had calmed down; All of the talks of the “Playboy” had whittled down. On the other hand, it had also given rise to another kind of gossip: Jealousy.

Mina had found that outside a certain few, mostly the top ten, Armin and Thomas, many others in the 104th were, to a degree, aggressive toward her. The fact that a massive portion of the other girls in the 104th and their underclassmen in the 105th were particularly pronounced really got under her skin. It was what had trapped her there, in the girl’s barracks, cornered by three other girls; there had been a few passers-by and some had come to stop to watch the confrontation entirely.

“What the hell did you do to him?” That was the one in the middle, an “Anya” Reybrandt” who actually was leading the other two girls.

“I didn’t do anything,” Mina refuted. “He’s just—”

“Your boyfriend, yeah we know. That being said, _of course_ you did something to him.” Anya had implied it subtly, and it almost slipped by Mina.

“Actually…not really. That hasn’t happened yet.” Was her deadpan response. Anya had been trying really hard to intimidate her, Mina noted, but she was also a year younger than her, thinly built to where Mina questioned if the force from the gear would snap her in half. Her expression was seemingly always pointed and furrowed; A hallmark of insecurity, Mina thought. “I’m sorry, but I really have to meet back up with Millius soon. We’re supposed to be meeting up for some 3D training with Ian.” Mina went to step through the girls, but one of them barred her way.

“No way. Tell us what you did!” Mina frowned.

“I… didn’t have sex with him if that’s what you’re getting at…” Mina pinked a little, but then became angry at their very blatant invasion of privacy. “And…why is it any of your business anyway!?” The other two girls took a step back, but Anya remained put.

“Because he’s the Playboy of course…” Anya’s voice had whittled down into something close to a timid mewl. “And...it would be stupid to die a virgin anyway…” There was a surge of heat in Mina’s cheeks.

“…You’ve got to be kidding...”

“It’s not fair,” piped one of the girls behind her. “You get with him, and all of a sudden he just stops? I don’t even think there’s anything all that great about you!”

“Have you guys even kissed yet,” came the other one’s voice. Mina sighed.

“I’m babysitting…” she muttered to herself.

“I heard that and we’re the same age.” Anya remarked. Mina noticed that Anya had relaxed a little, her brows relaxing; Anya was staring at her and Mina stared back, unflinching “But…” Anya paused. “He’s still the Playboy, even if you say he’s your boyfriend.”

“But you’re wrong.” Another matter-of-fact response.

“But I’m not.” Anya retorted, a little too coolly for someone who seemed so hot-headed. “Everyone in the military could die whenever, and…judging from what you see with the scouting legion, people can leave the walls and never come back.” Mina’s expression tightened, just marginally as she thought of Tyra.

“That doesn’t mean anything though.” Anya smirked.

“What I’m saying is that ‘Playboy’ is still a boy. So, maybe he wants to enjoy himself before he dies.” Mina was glaring, a part of her was _actually_ slightly unhinged. Millius had come a long way, but he did still have his flaws.

“Then…he would just come to me!” Mina had tried her best to sound sure of herself, confident. But her voice had sounded a little weak, even to her, and she had sounded _very_ out of character. Annie’s betrayal came burning into her mind then. Milliius wouldn’t do something like that.

But he had also been with the entire upperclass girls before they graduated.

But he had also told her about his brother, and how he wanted to love like he did. He hadn’t said it exactly, but Mina was sure he had told her, in typical indirect Millius fashion, that he loved her.

“All I’m saying is,” Anya remarked, “you sound so sure. It might be a good idea to check. Just in case. For all you know, he could have had better. He’s been with older women before I hear.” Mina heard one of the girls behind Anya grunt; she heard the other give an impressed sounding whistle.

Mina also felt, in that same moment, her knuckles strike Anya square between her eyes.

* * *

“This is normally why relationships are frowned upon during military training.” Ian’s scowl lined his face deeply, and Mina thought he would crush her with just that.

“That was…very ‘Eren’ of you…” Mina buried her face into her knees in embarrassment, grumbling out a muffled “I know” in response to both Ian and Millius.

“Still,” continued Ian, “the 104th has come a long way since you all first joined. And for the ones that lasted, a lot of you actually seem like you have potential.” Mina picked her head up. “You might all even be some of the best recruits we’ve seen so far.” Mina followed Ian’s gaze over to Millius, who returned the sentiment.

“Are you gonna’ teach us or not?” Millius quipped, a bit snidely. “

“At least you have a sense of humor. Mathias wasn’t really all that enthused about being in the military.” Millius went quiet, and Mina went to speak up, but Ian’s eyes had flicked over to her and she froze immediately in place. “I’m not here to haze children, you know. That’s Keith’s job.”

“Why did you even agree to help us out? You’re not even one of the actual instructors.”

“No, I’m not,” Ian shot back. “But Millius over there had been asking since he’s joined. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve known Millius and his family for a while.”

“Then how come I haven’t met you?” Ian grunted at her response.

“How come you weren’t around?” Mina’s lip curled in annoyance. “Enough. Mina, I put in a good word for you,” A pause. “At the urging of Millius there. Unlike Jaeger, or any of the top ten, you’re on much thinner ice.” Mina frowned, and Ian’s scowl flipped into a slight, approving grin. “But that doesn’t mean either of you won’t become valued soldiers.”

“So,” Millius chimed in. “Does that mean you’re going to help us with the gear or not? My father said that you showed him a few things that ended up saving his life when he needed it.” Ian shook his head.

“Not entirely. The 3D gear is important, but solo kills aren’t necessarily the best option. That’s what you have teammates for.”

“So, you’re going to help us with teamwork?” Ian turned to Mina then.

“To put it simply, you’re right. To more accurately describe it, it’ll be squad training, and I’ve hand-picked a few other recruits I feel would you could all do each other some good.” Mina heard Millius scoff a little. “This is a personal lesson, so you’ll all have to make sure not to push yourselves too hard. The training is already is difficult enough as is.” Ian stared them both down, but his eyes pushed past them and both Mina and Millius followed. “They made it.” Mina looked on in disbelief.

“Captain Ian you… _handpicked them?_ ” Mina turned to gauge Millius’s reaction, who only looked forward at the new arrivals stone-faced; Mina’s eyes followed.

Eren Jaeger was the first one her eyes set on, replete with disbelief. At his sides sat Armin Arlert, and Thomas Wagner but no Mikasa. Nic Tius had already made his way over to Millius with a cornerstone obnoxiousness that could only be his. Mina turned back to Ian with a sense of bewilderment.

_You have got to be kidding…!_

“Iron sharpens Iron,” was all Ian said.

“I thought this was a squad training lesson, not counseling!”

“It **_is._** I personally hand-picked them because you all have strengths to offer each other. **”** Mina sighed, a little annoyed. She didn’t quite agree with Ian’s appraisal, but he was one of the garrison’s top elites, so his words had to mean _something._ And besides, Millius had been seemingly constant in his requests, and Mina had been also a little eager to improve her graduation rank. Mina sighed again. It was going to be an interesting lesson.

* * *

Millius was _sore._ He had been keeping a watchful eye on Ian since he had joined the military. All of the training had conditioned him to being a fine-tuned machine, much like all the other students. Still, he hadn’t expected Ian to take it all a step further. It was clear that Ian had probably taken to drills with some of the Survey Corp to keep from getting rusty. Millius couldn’t help but wonder if this was what Mina was getting into.

Millius remembered hearing Eren gawking about joining the scouting legion, and how everyone thought he was crazy for it. Still, somehow, it seemed as though he had gotten through to some of the other students. Millius hadn’t taken a lot of the 104th to be so eager to die and he remained sorely unconvinced, planning on joining in with the Garrison, so his father would finally stop hounding him about “military experience”; He had no intention of dying.

But what did that make of Mina?

Millius had taken to watching her even more closely, and though she had distanced herself from Eren, she would sometimes, more often than he had ever noticed before, talk about what could possibly be outside the walls, much to Millius’s chagrin. If Millius really thought on it, it was something to consider. He had never been beyond the walls, and his brother had more than likely gotten to see things Millius had no idea even existed.

He hadn’t even seen all of the land that the walls had to offer, and there he was, lying on his top bunk over Jayce’s loud, obnoxious snoring, and trapped behind Wall Rose. The more he thought on it, the more he could understand Eren’s views; Millius had overheard him talking with Thomas and Armin about it during Ian’s lesson which, admittedly, had merit to it. Millius had tuned in a little more to his strengths and shortcomings, realizing that the five of them had complimented each other nicely, exactly like Ian knew they would; if Millius were honest with himself, he found that he actually enjoyed Eren’s company now, and in fact, the rest of his classmates as well.

It was a strange, wholesome feeling and Millius caught himself thinking of Mathias and wondered if he had felt exactly this when he had joined. Who had he trained with? Who were his friends? How did they handle his death? Jayce rumbled, swallowing roughly and turned in his sleep, and Millius made a face in disgust. Jayce was a great roommate...most of the time, but sleeping after he had gone to sleep was always the worst. He would have to be up in roughly five hours, so after quickly weighing his options and realizing that he was well on his into falling into a pit of despair, he hopped down from his bunk and made his way towards the girl’s dorms.

He had slunk around rather clumsily, but was quick enough to pass by the night patrols, and into the girl’s dorm. It was dark, and quiet, which was something Millius hadn’t really expected. He wasted no time, heading his way to what he had memorized to be Mina’s room. Walking through the dorms made him shiver a little at memories, and those same memories made him _very_ apprehensive to which doors he would pass quickly by, which was nearly all of them.

Millius had found the room, pausing for a split second to gather himself before going to knock lightly but the door swung open, and he nearly fell face first into the floor. Someone had caught him, and Millius quickly regained his footing as quietly as possible and noted that standing in front of him was Mina’s unmistakable shape. He paused to listen for Annie.

“She’s not here.”

“No? Where is she?”

“I don’t know. I had come back from training and she wasn’t here. She hasn’t been here since.”

“She’s always moving around so secretive. I feel like she’s always trying to avoid someone, but more importantly, I can’t believe you’re still awake.”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she replied shortly, maybe a little tiredly.

“Something’s bothering you.”

“Can you tell?” Millius half-frowned, and Mina was quick to slip back into her bunk, but Millius remained standing. “The room’s pretty clean so you don’t have to worry about bumping into anything.”

“Yeah, thanks…” They were both quiet then. It hadn’t really dawned on Millius exactly what he would once he got here to Mina’s room. Honestly, he hadn’t even expected to make it as far as he did.

“Are you just gonna’ stand there?” Mina’s voice was flat.

“I almost forgot. Something’s bothering you.”

“…Well, yeah...” Millius made his way over to Mina’s bunk, sitting on the edge of her bedside.

“Then, tell me. I’m here to listen.” She hesitated, like Millius figured she would, and then she opened her mouth to silence. There were times were Mina seemed to try so hard when she spoke to him. “I think you’re overshooting how smart I actually am. Just… go ahead and tell me.” He heard her take a deep breath.

“Are you still fucking other girls?”

“Huh?”

“You’re still Millius, right? All of this, the last four months isn’t just to make me the same as everyone else, right?” He stammered

“N-no.” Then he nearly roared, remembering at the last second that it was 10pm and that he had snuck into the girl’s dorm. “No! Why would you think that?”

“It’s just that…it’s been four months, and you seem so much more like…you. I thought we would never be able to talk like this ever. I mean, we’re also in the military and who knows when the titans are gonna’ show up again…” It was more of a whimper than a sentence. An acute, sharp feeling, like fire, crept into Millius’s face.

“You were there when I told Franz a few days ago: ‘Playboy’ is dead, and he won’t come back. The system doesn’t work, remember?”

“Even when you might want to enjoy yourself a little more before you die?” Millius was taken aback, and he could faintly make out her features in the dark, but Mina’s own expression suggested the same thing.

The revelation had shocked him; Mina was insecure. So very insecure of bodies that meant nothing to him, so insecure when she had no reason to be, and he had done everything in his power to make sure she knew that. His face was buzzing and he was caught somewhere between anger and disbelief. There was so much boiling in that moment at the back of his mind, his throat. Instead, all he managed was:

“I’m not gonna’ die, okay?” He heard her breath catch for a moment, and then Mina replied with a soft “okay”. She took one of his hand into hers, sitting up to look at him. Millius met her eyes, faintly in the dark, and noticed something _immediately_ off about her. He squinted into the dark, able to make out her eyes, and her hair that actually wasn’t tied into tails and the color of flesh that reached down toward…

She placed his hand on her chest, and Millius’s entire body froze. She was soft in his hands, like he never would have guessed, but certainly imagined. Something kickstarted in his brain and he wanted to take control then, to really get a feel for her body, like he had always wanted. She leaned in then, her hands reaching gently to cup his face, fingertips reaching around to the base of his neck and her thumbs caressing his cheeks. She leaned in even further, so close that he could feel he heat of her lips just inches from his.

And then, he realized that her lips were warm.

He realized, a few seconds too late, that his hands were suddenly all over her, that she was suddenly under him and that she actually hadn’t been wearing _anything_ from when she had answered the door, and maybe he had been so pre-occupied with the thoughts of his brother that he hadn’t noticed.

A part of Millius wondered if she had known he would stop by. He wondered if she had known that he would come to look for her comfort. Mina was soft, she was warm, and she seemed to melt into his fingertips. She had a smell that he couldn’t quite describe, made his body burn in a way he didn’t know was possible. Mina’s arms were wrapped around him, their lips parting for a split moment for her to bring him into her neck, close enough for him to hear her gasp his name hotly when he kissed a sweet spot on her collarbone; he felt her shiver and he inhaled her deeply.

He had wanted this for so long.

So, why did it feel so rushed?

Why did it feel so wrong?

Was this the comfort that he had wanted, or was this what "The Playboy" wanted?

Millius, through sheer force of will, pulled himself away, getting to his feet immediately turning away and inhaling air that wasn’t Mina. He ran his hands through his hair, distressed, almost pulling at it.

“Millius, what’s wrong…? Hey—”

“Mina, I—we can’t do this…not right now…” His senses were coming back to him, and Millius turned to her, his eyes hanging a little too long where he could almost see everything; he looked away.

“You don’t want to…?” She had sounded more surprised than disappointed.

“Of course I do, but…my question is do _you_ want to?”

“I…don’t know. I mean…it felt good at the time but—”

“I don’t want it to be like that.” Mina was silent. “I don’t want you to do this because you’re insecure. I don’t know who, but someone put the idea in your head that I’m still who I used to be.” He turned back to her, stepping back over to her to take her hand back. “I want you to know you have _Millius_ , and not the Playboy before anything like this happens. And I’m not gonna’ die, okay? There’s gonna be other times for this so... don’t rush it…” He saw Mina’s faint outline nod, a couple of sniffles finding their way out and Millius took her into his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Millius. I’m so stupid.” Millius could feel Mina crying against his chest in shame. He held her closer, his free hand running down the small of her back.

“It’s alright, Mina. It’s alright…” Mathias found his way into Millius’s mind again. His brother would have teased him a little, but been happy for him. His girlfriend, maybe wife by the time he would have gotten Mina, would have been beyond ecstatic. There were some images that played in Millius head, of how Mathias always seemed to at his best with her, and it was the way he planned on committing to Mina. His voice was slow and soothing and he held her tighter. “I’m not gonna’ die…”

* * *

Millius yawned, turning an eye over to Mina as the entire 104th gathered together, into the mess hall. It hadn’t dawned on Millius in the heat of everything that happened last night, but standing there with the rest of the 104th, he made note, very tiredly, that they had _graduated._ He had never gotten his chance to really speak to Mina about her contemplation on joining the legion, but her consideration had been made all the more possible by Eren almost berating Thomas about ‘humanity’s comeback.’ Millius had to admit that Eren was quite the talker when he wanted to be. The observation hadn’t changed the fact that Millius was _very_ sore. Not only was Millius sore, but now he was tired too, and from what he could pick up from Mina, her extra hour of sleep after crying into his shirt had actually done her wonders, for however much four hours of sleeps was worth.

There was an elbow jab into his side.

“Yo _Mills_ ,” Millius habitually cringed at the nickname. “You’re uh, looking a little tired.”

“Oh, shut up, Nac. I was just unable to sleep, and knock it off with the ‘Mills’ thing, will you?”

“Ah, my bad. That’s a strictly Mina thing, right?” He grinned. “But were you ‘unable to sleep’ or did you ‘refuse to sleep’?” Millius pinched the bridge of his nose exasperated.

“The Playboy’s dead, Nac.”

“I know. I’m talking about Mina.” Millius shot him a glare.

“How do you know about that?”

“Let’s just say you’re not the only one who was smooth.”

“Damn it Nac, it’s graduation. Let’s not do this right now.” Millius chuckled inwardly. Mina was rubbing off on him for sure. Nac shrugged.

“Sure thing, lover boy. But also, I’m just glad you got the girl. Also, you should probably leave out early and get some sleep. We’re actually deciding on our branches tomorrow.”

Millius had did just that. He had, like before snuck into the girl’s barracks, in the dead of night, this time, having the door answered by Annie, and also, having it slammed, _loudly_ in his face. He had eventually convinced Mina to sneak back to his dorm room with him; spending time with her, for him was always indescribably good. Millius found himself helping her sneak back to her dorm that next morning, and had made his way back to his room to don his uniform.

It was late morning, and perhaps it was because they had officially graduated but things seemed slow. Mina had told him that she would be atop the walls today, helping with the anti-titan artillery, which reminded him, he still had yet to ask her about her actual choice. Milllius still held no intention of dying, that was for certain. But his thoughts still lingered: What about Mina?

Millius’s stepped outside his barracks. He would have to ask her soon. The legion had just recently left for yet another expedition and Millius whistled to himself. Erwin seemed to work tirelessly, and Millius had hoped that “Squad Lenz” would return alongside Miche’s and Levi’s as they normally did. After all, Millius still needed to thank Tyra. Millius smirked to himself. Something gave a thunderous “snap” and a noise of collapse followed seconds later. Millius snapped toward the noise, and his smirk quickly gave way to an almost panic.

It had been the first titan he had saw, and he could remember Eren’s description of it. It was skinless, tall enough to peer over the walls with sunken eyes and a lipless blank expression. The Colossal had returned, making a swipe across the castle walls, where the artillery was located; Millius’s panic surged; Trost, and Mina were in danger.


	9. Trost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it turns out that doing Trost in one fell swoop would have been waaay too long, so, I'll be breaking it into two parts, which actually means that there is offcially one chapter left. My bad guys. Anyway, feel free to refer to me astrash because yes pls. But here we go:

The entirety of the 104th had scrambled together, and even in the courtyard for their briefing, Millius felt crammed a little too tightly among his classmates. He had made his way here for _Mina,_ not Kitts Woehermen, who his father had described as capable, but “lily-livered”. For all of Kitts’s first impression as seasoned, with his fiery beard and hair, his eyes were sunken in fear, in an _absolute_ panic and ironically, it was perhaps this singular thing that had helped Millius manage his own panic as he had made his way into the courtyard. Kitts was loud, and his voice was shaking, an entire world from what Ian was. Maybe it was to be expected; none of the garrison soldiers outside of Ian had really even been beyond the walls.

Millius had flashed a glance through the crowd and had found Mina, who was shoulder to shoulder with Thomas and Nic. All three of them were shaken, though Millius couldn’t quite tell if it had been from the sudden breach of the wall or if it was Kitts’s panic worming its way through them.

“As you know, any who attempt to flee from battle will be punished with death!”

 _Death?_ Millius’s eyes flicked back to Kitts. This was their briefing, of course, but he hadn’t really heard much of it. Instead, Millius found himself picking at the small details in Kitts’s expression. If it were possible, his eyes had grown even larger from panic, and the man appeared a little sickly, almost clammy. Had he been vomiting? Kitts’s jaw was clasped shut, so tightly that Millius would have believed someone if they had told him the man’s jaw was wired shut. He wouldn’t have even been surprised if Kitts would have chipped some teeth after all this. The man was _terrified._

Someone had pushed past Millius, nearly knocking him over. People were suddenly moving, again scrambling with a wild mix of panic and military training, and without a doubt, Millius could understand how they all felt. They had all just graduated, and already they were being put to the test. Still, there was an odd sense of pride in being able to hold himself together a little better than most. Millius looked through all of his classmates, rushing to their positions. He had remembered hearing something about “supply” and “vanguard” teams, but the rest had been lost on him.

There was a firm tap on his shoulder, and Millius knew immediately who it was.

“Yo, Millius,” Millius was staring at him, at Nic, dazed. “Hey, did you hear everything?”

“Not…exactly.”

“If you’re worried about Mina, everything’s gonna’ be fine alright? She’s with us.” Nic paused, Millius noted, and Nic’s focus narrowed in, singularly, on Millius. “You okay? You look a little out of it.”

“I guess everything has just happened a little too quickly. I mean, we graduated just _last night._ And we’re already fighting…”

“ _You’re_ freaking out?”

“N-no! Does it look that way?” Nic shrugged. “Not from a first glance, but you’re definitely bothered by something. You’re normally pretty cool. Maybe not Annie cool, but still, no one really sees you all flustered or hot-headed.” Nic paused again. “Well, at least not like the Suicidal Bastard.” Millius looked out to the courtyard again, looking past Nic to all of the other cadets that remained. A lot of them were frozen to the spot, in disbelief. Other were in tears. Some just didn’t react at all. A loud smack caught Millius’s attention, over toward the exit of the courtyard. It was Eren and familiarly, a volatile and foul Jean bested by him.

“…You’re going to live through this!” Eren had Jean pinned by the hem of his shirt, staring fierce and intensely, like he always did.

They were bickering again, Millius thought, but he had then caught the sudden shift in Jean’s mood as Eren had said those words. They weren’t bickering he realized; Jean was listening. Millius watched, as Eren let the boy go, who then left the courtyard, muttering something under his breath. Millius noted then that Eren was looking at him now, too. They each said nothing.

“Millius,” He turned back to Nic. “Come on, we should get going. I’ll explain to you the plan while we get into position.” Millius gave a curt nod, and went to follow, but scanned the courtyard one last time, and found, tucked into a corner, Annie and Mina. He had caught himself walking a few steps in their direction and held back. Mina was strong, much stronger than a lot of the instructors, or anyone gave her credit for. She learned quickly and she was great with the gear and teamwork to boot. She could take care of herself. Millius only offered her a smirk in her direction and followed Nic to position.

* * *

Millius had figured he had been assigned to the same squad as Nic, but he hadn’t expected to see the entirety of Squad 34 on arrival. They had all been placed in the middle guard, which, according to Nic, the original plan as to see the civilians to safety. Something rose in his chest then. Hope? Confidence?

_Pride._

For a quick second, he welcomed it. It was a sense of power beyond power, and in hindsight, framed his father’s behavior a little better to him. Millius could see almost immediately how his father had fallen in love with this sense of glory.

And maybe his father had been welcomed to a set squad just like he had, like maybe _Mathias_ had, a team that all adapted to their situations together. His father had often said there was strength in numbers, and that his services in the Legion, and the fact that he was alive today were testament to it, at least, that was what his father had said. He looked to his squad mates before him.

Eren Jaeger, 5th graduate,

Armin Arlert, 20th graduate,

Mina Carolina, 13th graduate,

Nic Tius, 15th graduate,

And Thomas, 17th graduate.

Millius had ranked at 22nd, realizing that among much of the 104th, Squad 34 was _still_ a promising group, even if the rest of them hadn’t ranked close to Eren. They had taken on both the standard military training and Ian’s specialized lessons as well. That, at least had to mean something, didn’t it?

“You’re looking pretty confident over there!” She tossed him a glance over her shoulder, along with a confident wink. “That’s good! You’re always either brooding or blank.”

“She’s right you know,” Nic added. His remarked was followed by stifled laughter from Thomas.

“Do you really think you two should be in the same squad?”

“Of course,” Millius retorted, a little abashed. “Besides, Ian designed the squad, not me.” Millius caught Nic’s nod of acknowledgement.

“Yeah, that’s true, and the guy is kind of a slave driver, but…I think the lessons really improved our scores. I didn’t think I’d make top 20.”

“I think Millius got lazy though,” Armin quipped, and Millius shrugged in response.

“Maybe.” Millius glanced to Mina, then to the rest of them “But I don’t have any plans on dying though. So after this, it’s to the Scouting Legion for me too.” There was a noise of surprise from them all, save Eren.

“You’re joining the Legion!?”

“I thought you said you didn’t have plans on dying!”

“I didn’t think you’d change your mind!” Millius felt his lips curl slightly upwards into grin. They were squad 34, and perhaps had the chemistry to become a “Squad Mike” or even a “Squad Levi”. Millius was grinning full on; They were his friends. The thought turned his grin into a frown, and Mina took note.

“You have that frown,” was all she said, and the rest of the squad said nothing, but there was a knowing in all of their faces. Millius remained quiet, but shrugged. “Come on, Millius. It’s like Nic said, we’re actually on the field now. If you gotta’ get something out, you should do it now.”

“Kitts is a coward.”

“He’s also commander. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing.” Millius’s narrowed his eyes, and turned to Nic.

“I don’t like the plan. And the man was a complete mess. All the elite soldiers like Ian and Mikasa are at the very back to protect the civilians. A few of the elites could handle any strays but all of them? What about keeping the titans on the frontlines from overwhelming the vanguard?”

“We’ve trained for three years for this Millius.” Milllius turned his attention to Eren then.

“ _We_ trained for three years, and we’re fresh. I don’t know when’s the last time the garrison had to face off against a titan.” Millius was quiet then. “I said I didn’t come here to die, and if the military wants more people to join in, then maybe they should let some of their elites to the frontlines so _we_ all don’t die.”

“Hey, Millius, you’re getting a little too worked up.” It was Armin.

“Yeah,” added Eren. “Whether or not Woehermen is capable, we’re here now. And it’s like you said, we’re not gonna’ die. This is our chance to prove ourselves.”

“If that’s the case, then why don’t we see who can get the most titans?” It was Thomas.

“Eren beat us to the punch last time, but we’re ready!” that was _Mina._ Millius passed a short glance over to Armin, and even he was in high spirits, and it was infectious. Millius grinned. Who was he to lose his nerve? They were “Squad Eren” as he was growing increasingly used to calling them, and more importantly, he was not going to die.

“Squad 34, move in!”

That was their cue.

And they all sped forward.

Millius scanned the battlefield; Both Armin and Eren were leading, speeding ahead. Mina, Thomas and Nic held center, which left him in the rear. Gusts whistled in his ears, and so did shock.

_How did so many of them get in so fast…?_

“So many already!?” _Mina…_

“Damn it! Was the vanguard all talk!?” _Nic…_ Millius saw something shift in the corner of his eye, something mop-headed, like a bush. Millius’s mind had snapped everything together just as Eren roared in shock.

“An Abnormal!” _Eren…_ “Move!”

Millius’s finger flicked to the bottom trigger, a burst of gas firing him at first back and then, almost too fast to comprehend; he was quick and was soon swinging back, landing safely among the rooftops with the rest of Squad Eren.

The abnormal had missed, smashing directly into a church tower, and for a few seconds, it sat clinging to the spire. Its head slid slowly, eerily to the right, its neck tilted upward, crystal eyes almost looking as though they were peering at the five of them; Millius corrected himself: The four of them.

Thomas hadn’t been fast enough, and was lodged there between lips and crushed between flat teeth.

_Thomas…_

And, as if he never had existed, Thomas was suddenly gone.

* * *

Lead settled in Millius’s chest and in his gut. _How…? Ian handpicked us!_

A devastating realization set in for Millius then, shooting a look of barely contained terror as he looked to Mina, whose bravery had almost evaporated entirely. Millius’s attention then settled immediately to Eren. _Shit!_

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going!?”

“Wait! Don’t go off alone!” But Millius was a second too late. Ian had taught them teamwork, and without it, Eren would almost certainly die.

And just like Thomas, Eren was suddenly, gone, speeding reckless to death.

Millius blinked himself free of shock, only to find Eren face first among one of the rooftops, missing much of his left leg, and bleeding; He quickly picked out the titan responsible, another abnormal crouched just below the rooftop Eren was lying on, waiting. Millius looked over his squadmates then. There was a quiver of fear he saw in Mina, and a just barely perceptible sense of shock in Nic.

But Armin…

Armin had dropped to his knees, entirely frozen, like Kitts. The boy wasn’t going to move, he couldn’t. Millius followed Armin’s gaze back to Eren, who was barely conscious. Armin had always seen himself as useless, Millius knew, and he could understand the sentiment when placed next to someone like Eren, or Mikasa, but now certainly wasn’t the time for it. It was always Eren moving them or someone else into action, the each of them had to show for something. Millius found his will, kneeling down to Armin at eye level, who was staring right through him.

“Armin!” Nothing. “Armin!” Millius had caught the slow shift in Armin’s eyes. He could see him, although Millius wasn’t sure for how long. “Get a hold of yourself! We’re not done yet, okay!?” Millius tried hard to keep his voice from shaking. “You’re sharp, sharper than me, and we’re going to do this and make it back alive, alright!?”

Armin only stared, and Millius saw nothing else.

“Hey, we can’t just stand here! We’ve got to do something!” Millius had heard Nic, but his voice sounded foreign to him, almost unreal. “We’re squad 34! We get Eren and go!”

Nic was right. There was no time, Thomas’s titan had slipped away, but Eren was the priority. If they weren’t quick, they would be swarmed and killed altogether. Millius was back to his feet, his finger clicking the trigger. His gear carried him into the air, and he took in the site before his eyes: Mina to his right, and Nic to his left, and the abnormal below.

Nic bellowed.

“Let’s go!” They all closed in. Both Nic and Mina were moving to flank; Millius served as the decoy. Millius fired directly toward the target.

Millius’s hook caught a part of the titan’s flesh, directly in its eye, and that was good. If he could just blind it…

Mina had circled around, her hooks embedding into its back. She may have been fearful, but she was bold. _She can take care of herself…_

Nic had managed to pierce the titan also, and was closing in, possibly to take out its limb. The titan remained eerily still.

Until it wasn’t. Millius saw the titan twitch just before it launched into action.

“Nic!” Millius had forgotten a crucial detail, and the titan snapped its attention over to Nic, snatching him directly from the air.

Millius heard a deadened thump to his left, and found Mina slumped against the street building wall. She wasn’t moving.

“Mina!!” Millius’s loss of breath was abrupt; his gear was also grating against him uncomfortably, roughly. Everything was compressed and he realized then that he was staring directly into the eyes of a monster. Millius had nearly froze, but remembered Armin, remembered Kitts, and fought against that fear. He had, foolishly, worriedly turned his attention to Nic.

Or, what had been left of him. It had been quick and before Millius had even registered it, his friend, squadmate, was bitten in half, dismembered beyond recognition.

_Nic…_

They were squad 34, Squad Eren as he had called them, “Bombastics” like Nic had called them.

They had been taught by Ian, they had potential…

They were all dying.

And Millius, resourceful, perceptive, tactical Millius, was _helpless_.

Millius had never believed in the word, not until Eren had shown up in the forest ground with Tyra's letter, and Millius never thought that he would feel that way again. He had so much to live for. He had _Mina_ to live for.

“Stop!” Was that terror? Thick in his voice? He was screaming. “Please, stop!” He was begging. He was crying, and then he was angry. He had then remembered Annie scoffing about the farce of the military, about how the best equipped to kill titans were driven by fear to run from them, or to be paid for their slackening skills. It was why the elites were in the rearguard, and why the trainees were sent to die in their place.

But…he couldn’t die. He wasn’t _supposed_ to die. He wasn’t supposed to be Mathias. He had finally gotten the girl, and hadn't even gotten to thank Tyra. Why was it that Mina had to be taken away from him so soon?

* * *

 _Why can’t I move…?_ It was like watching himself from someone’s else’s eyes. He had heard, but not quite processed the crunching of Nic’s bones, or Millius’s desperate pleads. Armin simply watched, and he watched in horror. _You have to move…You can’t let them die…_

They had all been in such high spirits just moments ago, they were trained for this moment, weren’t they? Armin hadn’t even thought of how desperately he had wanted to live in that moment. He had heard someone crying then, barely able to make out the voice.

Wailing.

Tears.

Sniffling.

 _Millius_.

Armin had managed to picked the name apart and realized that this single voice was crying for Millius. _You have to move…Please…_

Armin shifted slightly, over to a titan, possibly 4 meters and shaggy, messy hair. Its jaws wide and pulled apart. The crying registered again, and she seemed to appear to him.

It was Mina, crying.

Armin couldn’t tell if she were crying from terror, or the loss of Millius; it was more than likely both.

They were dying, he suddenly realized. Eren was barely alive. He had watched Nic and Millius be devoured. He was watching the death of his friends. It was only a matter of time for him too, wasn’t it? They were soldiers, raised and bred for this by Shadis, and they were squad 34, fine-tuned by Ian.

They were a squad.

They were a team.

 _Please…you have to move._ More crying.

_Move, damn it!_

Armin was bursting forward then, fast enough to push past the second abnormal, and enough to reach Mina just as her titan’s jaws were coming down; Armin roared, terrified, as he swung.

His blades had passed through something, and he felt heat splash across his face, but he paid no mind. He had zipped past the titan and into the ground hard, tumbling a few feet. His heart hammered in his chest and Armin realized that he was moving, and immediately jumped to his feet.

Armin focused his attention immediately toward the titan, only to it slumped over, a cloud of steam billowing where had stood.

 _I…did that…?_ He squinted a little, finding a form coming through the steam toward his direction.

Mina.

She was sprinting toward him, full speed and before he knew it, she was crushing him, holding him tight, her face full of tears, and a mouth full of “thank yous”. For a moment, Armin couldn’t quite believe it. Maybe he had just gotten lucky.

Maybe he actually could be of some use; it would have to wait for another day. They had to grab Eren and retreat. The both of them found their way quickly to the rooftops, managing to avoid the second abnormal.

There was more rumbling, titan footsteps and a cry of shock from Mina.

“Eren!” Armin snapped to attention: there was another one, large-bellied and white-haired sanding directly over where Eren had been laying. Its jaws were wide, and held by the fabric of his uniform jacket was an unconscious Eren. The giant let go, and swallowed Eren whole. Armin felt his will leave him again, as the giant turned its attention to them, peering almost through him. It reached for him deceptively fast.

But Armin was suddenly flying, his gut pressed against a bone, Mina’s shoulder, and he came to, realizing that they were moving back toward the middle guard; Mina had saved him, just as he had saved her. He was grateful, but also distraught. Armin found that he could only cry to himself silently, in a strange mix of relief and shame. Relief at the thought that he had survived, that he had proved himself to be something, but horrified at the thought of why he hadn't done anything sooner, and why had he watched Nic, Millius and Eren all die. He was also ashamed at the thought of how, exactly, would he tell Mikasa.


	10. Legion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in the face of absolute despair, we must fight on.

Somehow, she had ended up there, stranded on top of the rooftops of Trost. At the very least, she had met back up with other of the 104th. And at the very least, she had Armin. For a moment, Mina had really thought she was going to die and, she should have but there she was, sitting next to Armin, both of them in utter and complete shock. She had pieced together bits of the situation, and it was dire.

Most of them were almost out of gas, and the titans had overwhelmed the supply HQ from what she had heard. It simply seemed like they had been trained to die, that even the more "experienced" garrison soldiers had ever met against a titan. Most of them had died already, and left much of the trainees to fend for themselves. Mina had even recalled Hannah, who had tried so desperately in vain to keep Franz alive, even though Armin had tried to tell her otherwise. In hindsight, Mina couldn't help but think back to Millius; He had been right, like usual.

_Millius…_

All the adrenaline had seeped from her bones, and she could only manage shallow breaths. She had made it thanks to Armin, but also, because of Armin, Millius had not. Because of Armin, Nic did not. A part of her wanted to turn to him and punch him, wanted to throw him into the streets down below so he could feel what they did; if she were honest, Mina had reacted on impulse when Armin had lost his will, snapping into action to save him at the demand of Ian's internalized training. They were squad mates, and without each other, they would do little else except die.

But that hadn't mattered had it? Mina had launched into battle with Nic and Millius, and she had been certain that she was going to manage the kill, but abnormals were dangerous for that very reason, and they each had forgotten that. A single, erratic twitch had thrown Mina into the street walls unconscious, only brought to at the sound of pleading cries that were cut short by crunching bones, and splays of blood.

All had belonged to Millius, and the realization that he was gone, and that she had spent her last spare moments confronting Annie, forgiving her for something that was so childish now, made her shiver with self-loathing; it made her hate herself. Millius had come so far, he had managed to change so much, and she was so, _so_ proud of him. He had loved her, more than Mina thought was possible, and now, she would never have the chance to return that sentiment.

Mina was grasping at her roots, tugging _hard._ There had to be something, she could do to drown out the thoughts, this pain. She didn't dare to look at Armin, or she might have broken entirely. She had heard an exchange of voices far off from her, one of them sounding similar to Armin, but Mina didn't care. She clasped her eyes shut and desperately tried to tuck herself away.

_This isn't real…_

_This isn't real…_

_Please, don't be real…_

"Mina." Her eyes snapped open, and everything was still in place, as much as she had wanted it to be otherwise. There were still behemoths in the streets of Trost. There were still trainees crestfallen and utterly resigned. The skies were grey with death. They smelled of cannon smoke with faint hints of rotting flesh and blood. Mina even looked down to her hands, finding some semblance of blood tucked under her fingernails that she hoped to god didn't belong to Millius.

But there was also Annie, standing in front of her.

"We have to go." Was that all Annie had to say? "We can't stay here."

Nic had said the same thing.

"…Is that it?" Annie must not have expected much of anything like that. After all, Mina was always seen as optimistic, she knew. But Mina had also seen a nuanced sense of understanding and knowing settled into Annie's face as well; her face may have appeared stoic to anyone else. "That's…all you have to say?"

"It's true."

"You say that like you don't even care!" Mina was on her feet now, standing level with Annie, and for the first time, Mina did not fold under Annie's eyes. "You were _fucking_ Eren! And he's not here! He's dead, and all you can say is 'we have to go'!?" Mina's eyes were burning, and in short time she was crying. "It's not supposed to be like this…" And Mina slumped again, to her knees. "Why did they have to die? Thomas, Millius, Eren, Nic…Why aren't they here with us?" Everyone was staring at her; she knew and she didn't care. She more than likely was passing on a panic to the other weaker-willed trainees, like how Millius figured Kitts had been doing. She was one of the better trainees, she had graduated at 13th rank, just outside the 10, and a couple of beats behind Ymir; she was supposed to have a titan record by now.

Annie was kneeling in front her then, pulling Mina's hands away from her face, and for some seconds stared at her, and strangely, her gaze was even more aggressive and piercing than usual, and Mina felt that familiar quiver in her chest, her spine and it spread through to her finger tips. Then, Annie's gaze shifted away from her, past her, almost like Millius. Her words were quiet, and this was genuine.

"I know what this feels like, Mina." Something had caught in Mina's throat, and she thought she would burst into tears again. "And I know what needs to be done; I know you do too. There is no more Millius to return to," that comment twisted the knife a little deeper. "But there is a Tyra to return to, a Karanese." Annie paused. "A _home."_ Mina noted that Annie had hung on that last word for a little too long. Annie stood back up; her hand extended out to help Mina up. "So, get up. You have to." Mina hesitated at first, but caught wind of another shift in Annie's expression. It was almost imperceptible, but she was smiling. Mina's hesitance ebbed, and Mina clasped Annie's hand in hers and hoisted herself up. Millius was gone, and Squad Eren was nearly ripped apart entirely. But she would have to fight, especially now, she simply had no choice.

* * *

They were all going to gun for the supply HQ. And even though they were following Mikasa, who had come up to the frontlines, there had been some disagreement, most notably, from Dazz, who Mina had remembered had placed surprisingly better than she or anyone thought he would. He was in an all too familiar panic that made Mina think back to Kitts, and inevitably back to Millius, and the sick feeling in her stomach would return, and she would almost freeze in place.

Mina had seen Mikasa then in action as they had all took off, slicing through one, two, three bodies. She seemed unstoppable, untouchable. If only she could be like that…

But then Mikasa had suddenly dropped, and both Armin and Connie had taken off after her to save her. And it seemed that everyone they had led fell into a panic. In that confusion, Mina had another very near brush with death as Jean had come to the fore to take Mikasa's place.

Annie had to save saved her at least twice in that confusion, expertly cutting through titans with an almost supernatural precision, as if she had done this long before. After all, Annie did rank higher than even Eren. Strangely so, Mina couldn't help but feel that Annie's action had made Reiner anxious; maybe he was just worried.

Others hadn't been so lucky, Tom, a trainee that she wasn't too familiar with, flittered from the air as his gear emptied itself, and was promptly eaten. There had been two other that had attempted to save him, and were promptly torn apart also; she had to look away.

Annie must have really cared for her.

They _were_ friends and a part of Mina wasn't sure if it had been her forgiving Annie in the courtyard, or if it was Annie seeing Mina as she was that had made her act. Either way, Annie seemed to pay a special kind of attention to her as they made their way to the headquarters.

They crashed through the windows after Jean; Mina had tried to be careful as she was barreling in, but cut herself on the glass as she tumbled. She ignored it and looked over the insides of the building. Immediately, she had spotted two cadets hiding under a desk; one of them had their face buried into his knees, almost in a futile attempt to stop others from hearing his cries.

Jean pulled him under the desk, and struck him; Mina looked away.

_This is what a battlefield is like…?_

She found herself slipping back into the streets of Trost, back to Eren, to Millius—

A part of the building gave way, and Mina turned to the opening. There were two of them, and from what Mina could see, they were most certainly at least ten meters. They were peering at them, like they always did, grinning eerily, and paralyzing, like they always did. The supply corps had scattered, again perpetuating the ever-present panic in the edges of everyone's minds. A part of Mina was slowly getting used to it.

"They're here!"

"Run!"

"Where's Mikasa!?"

"She ran out of gas and got eaten!"

Fear was everywhere, and it attempted work its way into her mind; Mina focused her attention on Jean.

The fear had seemed to have worked its way even into him, had almost seemed to make him fall in surrender to them, just like she had, just like everyone Mina had seen battle them so far did. She had mustered up the strength before to face off against them, so she had tried desperately now to do so, to at least get Jean out of the way.

Then the two faces went spiraling away from the opening, and there was another, enormous crash. Mina could see past Jean that there was yet another one, but different. There was no grin, but only flattened, and even teeth, long, brownish hair and almost ethereal jade eyes that felt vaguely familiar. It looked a little less human than the others, but somehow _felt_ more human.

It gave a piercing roar, and Mina had to cover her ears. What was going on?

There was another crash through the windows and it caught Mina's attention; and Mina could scarcely believe her eyes: It was Armin, alongside both Connie and Mikasa.

Morale picked up then, and almost immediately, Armin had formed a plan of action to clear out the smaller waves of titans in the supply room. Armin's mind moved so quickly, so fast.

_Millius…_

She shook her head. She didn't have time for that. Like Nic said, Like _Annie_ said, she had to keep moving, so she did.

They all had come together then.

There was a rogue titan killing its own as they spoke, and they would use what little materials they had to clear out the supply room. They followed Armin's plan, everything came together, surprisingly for Mina, as they needed it too.

They had resupplied, and morale had soared even higher, but Mina was apprehensive. Things were bound to change, as they often did. This was a battlefield.

They all went to sortie out of the supply building when Mina caught wind of both Mikasa and Armin, watching toward something with awe; Mina followed, landing a little ways behind them, she froze at the sight.

It was the same titan from earlier, and it was being devoured by _other titans_. Mina couldn't look away. This titan after all, had been a part of Armin's plans, and it was this titan's rampage that had bought them the time they needed to resupply.

It only seemed to care about other titans at that.

Then it roared, charging in a berserker rage toward a single titan. It had ripped away its own arms to do so. It was quick, moving expertly and, almost like how they were taught in close quarters, and sank its teeth into its target, the one that Mina happened to realize at the last minute was the same titan that had eaten Thomas. Its bite tightened, and Mina heard the crushing of its nape in full detail, and this rogue titan, in full fury had used this same titan to crush one beneath him, and swung it then into another, effectively wiping out all three.

It roared again, in bloodlust, with a full battle cry. It wanted to keep going, Mina could tell, but it fell to its knees. It had no more left to give, and simply collapsed. All of the rage, the bloodlust could only remind Mina of one other person: Eren.

Mina watched in awe, in confusion as the body started to disintegrate, and through the steam they were all able to make out something, but it seemed like Mikasa was able to make it out sooner than the others, rushing down into the steam. Mina had nearly fainted when she realized that emerging from the nape of the titan was in fact, Eren Jaeger.

* * *

There had been so many questions that Mina had carried over along her shoulders over the inner wall. There had been so many titans sprawled about Trost like ants, and the sheer number of them had seen almost the entirety of the new recruits wiped out, at least, those had been the speculations, and Mina had been lucky enough to have survived it all. Her stomach churned at the thought.

Was she really all that lucky?

Could she call her herself for having to monstrosities again? For having to have known that she should very much be dead, but for some reason, was breathing and could feel her heart beating in her chest, when Millius would never again be able to know what that felt like.

She heard someone screaming then, and her entire body tensed, then snapped to position toward the screaming. She was up, blades drawn and fingers twitching toward the triggers on her blades.

It had sounded like him, like Millius. She could hear him.

" _Stop! Please stop!"_ Mina shuddered, then she blinked.

"Please! You can't make me go back out there!" Mina felt her body slacken, a relief that it was only Dazz, and then a horror because it was _Dazz._ How was it that he had lived, and not Millius? Millius had been more than capable, she was sure, and she would have much rather had either him or Nic watching her back.

"It looks like Trost really did a number on him, huh?"

"Reiner… he's just… scared. I can't say that I don't blame him…" It was a flat response on Mina's part. She could feel Reiner observing her closely. He was trying to get a read on her that was for sure, and Mina was certain that he could see the taut restrain etched into every fiber of of her body.

"Reiner, leave her alone." _Annie…?_

"I was only checking on her. She's in better shape than Dazz. I only wanted to make sure she wouldn't lose her wits."

"She's tougher than that." It was a laconic response; one Reiner didn't really answer to. He did toss Mina a look of concern before taking a spot next to Bertholdt a few feet away. Mina and Annie exchanged glances; this time, there was nothing.

Cannon fire struck, like thunder, and Mina reacted almost numbly, turning to face the commotion from further within the wall. It was strange to her, feeling this tired, but she knew that the loud snap more than likely had something to do with Eren. No one really understood how, but he was somehow a titan, and Kitts was a man riddled with anxiety. Mina found that she, for lack of a better word didn't care, and she slumped, exhausted against a wall.

She had no idea how long she had been resting there, but it couldn't have been too long. The sound of frantic motion jolted her awake, and Mina rubbed her eyes, groggily attempting to stand and was helped to her feet by…

Armin.

Mina's eyes were darting round, reassessing. She had begun to make sense of the commotion. She was not alone in her exhaustion. There seemed to be hostile murmurs among the soldiers, and others were beginning to outright rebel. Mina turned to Armin, who remained oddly detached from the mutiny of the soldiers.

"I know this may sound like a dumb question but, how are you feeling?"

"What's going on?"

"We got the garrison to work with us, and we're going to set a plan in motion." Mina frowned.

"A plan?" She was skeptical. "Everyone is ready to fall apart. If Kitts decides to make due on his word, then he will make the situation even more hopeless."

"Mina please. We really don't have much time. We don't know how long the net will really hold the breach…" That was right, Mina thought. She couldn't have slept for too long, but it was long enough that she had forgotten she was in hell, or something like it. The commotion suddenly grinded to sound halt. Armin's attention had shifted and Mina followed it to an elderly bald man, with lightly tanned skin, a well-groomed mustache and a well of wisdom in his eyes. He wore the standard Garrison uniform, though there was a command to him; His gaze was pointed and sharp.

 _Like Millius_ …

"I understand that fear holds a grip on many of you," His eyes were scanning over all of them. He was weighing his words carefully Mina knew. "And for those who wish to buckle and flee, you will be pardoned and able to enjoy your last moments with family,"

_What…?_

"However, should you make that choice, know that you will have condemned your loved ones to this fear you feel as well. Choose wisely…" More murmurs erupted through the soldiers, and Mina felt the tide among them turn. Many of the soldiers loved, more than they feared and were moving back into formation.

And she wasn't any different.

She had almost very nearly refused Armin right there and then. She wanted nothing else to do with Trost, nothing else to do with any of this.

But she had family here in Wall Rose.

She and Armin were classmates.

They were squad mates, and she needed something to show for that. Her response was short.

"Brief me."

* * *

They had all settled into position, and for the second time, Mina was a part a squad operation. Ian had been placed in charge of "Squad Alpha", consisting of the garrison's very best, although Mina exactly wondered now if superlative terms were the best to describe anyone when compared to monsters. They all seemed to be just prey. Mina shook her head. She couldn't think like this. Now simply wasn't the time. She had been assigned to a squad with Jean, Annie and Connie; she was tense, waiting on baited breath.

The net holding the titans gave way, and they swarmed; she saw the green signal flare go off, and the mission began.

There were even more than before, Mina noted. Where Squad 34 had been picked apart by three, coming through the breach there seemed to be double the number. They all split mindlessly, each heading for a squad, others attempting to swarm.

Mina spotted three heading toward their position, and fought against the lump in her throat.

One suddenly paused and buckled, and Mina saw the steam billow; it was Annie, moving a fluid as she always did. One of the others paused, turning woodenly, in Annie's direction.

It was her turn, Mina thought.

It seemed like she was always being saved by someone else, and she had to play her part, didn't she? Mina ran forward toward the edge of the rooftops, watching in all directions and with a leap, flicked a finger to her gas trigger. The short burst accelerated her, sent her barreling toward the titan almost too fast.

Another titan's fingertips flashed in her sight, and Mina hurriedly, almost panicking, flicked her trigger again and shifted direction. She climbed just over the fingertips and directly toward her target, who had turned its attention to her, watching with a distant amusement; Mina flung past it, and righted herself.

Her fingers flicked a third time, to the top and her anchor shot loose, lodging directly into the nape of her target; she wasn't going to mess up this time. A fourth click gave a short burst of gas and Mina tugged on the lever of her hilts reeling her in almost even faster, faster than she knew she could go, but her eyes honed in on her target and she swung.

She carved through the flesh much easier than expected, and the heat from the splaying blood was also hotter than expected. The blades had passed through like water, and the titan halted for only a short second before it fell, and Mina leaped, and with another burst of gas, landed herself to safety.

_Maybe I_ _**can** _ _do this…_

That was one, and her eyes immediately picked out four others, and even more that had begun to devour soldiers. She had caught the attention of another, and Mina readied herself. There was a pang of fear, but altogether, Mina simply felt numb.

She heard a flare go off, and suddenly her target leaped at her, an abnormal. Mina almost seemed to skate to the side with a subtle burst of gas, and swung herself to higher ground. She turned to where she had heard the flare, and could see the faintest dusting of a red cloud, and below its mist, she could see Eren's titan incapacitated.

The mission was a failure.

* * *

Mina pulled herself atop of the second gate, alongside other soldiers, all nameless as she focused on Eren. They had barely started, and already, things seemed to turn against them.

"That was it!?" Someone was panicking to her left. "This is our 'great' plan!?" Mina ignored them.

"We should have never put our trust in another titan! He could be their leader!" Mina ignored that one too.

 _No…_ Eren was their best chance, and in her chest, Mina felt something oddly warm and disjointed.

Was she hoping?

Another flare shot off, and the grip round her blades tightened then. Another soldier landed next to her, another nameless face that seemed to blur together in her memory.

"I know you saw it, but in case you're too shell shocked, the mission is a go." Mina grimaced.

She didn't want to go back down there that was for certain, even if she had survived so far, even when she had made her first kill, even though it was a close call, even if she knew, with even a small semblance of certainty, that she could do this. But she had caught sight of Eren's titan, trudging adamantly towards the breach in the wall, just like he would in person. Mina took a deep breath, and leapt from the walls

Mina had cut her way into two more titans, both more fluid than her first, and her third more fluid than her last, and even in the face of death, Mina couldn't help but feel strong. She had taken to working in tandem with Sasha and Connie, finding that she actually fit very well with Sasha overall.

But the titans felt almost endless. One of them paused just as it began to make its way to her before billowing and melting in smoke, Connie moving quick as he always did. The titan toppled over then, and through its steam, Mina could make out Armin and Mikasa moving on foot near Eren.

That right, they were supposed to be distracting them, offering their lives up for humanity and Eren should they get too close to him, but holding that perimeter was what Mina and her team were assigned to do, and Mina realized, just a moment too late, a titan that made its way a little too close.

Mina shot for it, passing smoothly by a flailing titan that thought to stop her, and closer to her target; her finger lay itching over her triggers. She went to give another burst of gas.

Except there was only a sputter.

Panic flooded into every part of her then. _I'm…out!?_ The giant wasted no time, and Mina felt a crushing grip make itself known. It knocked the wind from her chest, and she hacked and sputtered, managing to right herself enough to find tired eyes staring at her.

They weren't even amused, but tired looking and tortured, as if it knew what it was doing was wrong, but it couldn't stop. Mina, only hours ago, would have found herself crying again. She didn't want to die, but there had been something in this particular titan's expression that made her feel otherwise.

It had actually made her feel angry. What could only be described as a self-loathing was a mockery of actual sadness. How dare a monstrosity fake emotions? Mina inched toward its mouth, noting bits of flesh and bone entangled in smeared teeth. Mina hadn't felt like crying.

She had never felt such a seething rage in her life. She had wanted to sever every limb, every nerve asunder. Such a mockery needed to feel real pain and…

 _This must be how Eren feels…_ Mina suddenly realized. And this was how she was going to die.

She had expected teeth to come down, and rip her apart, but instead, there had been the distinct "ping" of parrying metal. Another soldier had come to her rescue again, much to Mina's chagrin. With a frame tall and a little gaunt, Mina realized it was Ian.

His swords flashed, a perfect cut forming around the titan first four teeth, enough room for him to stand. She saw Ian inhale once, quickly, and a second glint of silver flashed. Mina felt its grip slacken, and then saw that Ian had severed its thumb.

Mina had never seen anyone this good before. Her eyes flicked in horror above him, noting that the teeth had grown back, and the titan, seeming to realize how dangerous Ian was, went to snap its jaw shut immediately. Ian caught the same new teeth with his blade, and Mina almost let out a giggle of amusement. Why wasn't Ian out in the Survey Corp with skill like this?

She felt herself yanked forward then, it was Ian, and she bumped into his midriff and nearly bounced off from the solid muscle. Mina had caught his eyes for a moment, and she saw something flicker behind them, and Mina knew that look.

He had trained her personally, and that flicker of emotion in him was pride. Mina hadn't realized she had been grinning in pride at Ian's toying with the titan until she lost it. She was suddenly falling backwards, away from Ian. Mina reached out to take him with her, when another hand came toward Ian, forcing his neck suddenly between two flat teeth.

* * *

Mina hadn't known how long she had been there, with a flat tone beaming in her ears or if she had even been alive. She could feel something lightly touch on what felt to be her shoulders? She really didn't even know.

Things had been looking up, she had added titans to her record and she had even got to see Ian in action, and he was good, _really_ good.

And he had died to save her.

Mina didn't know long she had been screaming, didn't know how long her hands had translated Ian's last expression and shock, surprise and knowing, into a reality.

He was her mentor, and he wasn't supposed to die.

Her thoughts were barreling toward Millius again, and as if on cue, she felt that same touch, much harder now around her face. It guided her, fixing her stare at a single blur, which slowly came into focus.

It was Armin, and at that same moment, Mina came to interpret that high-pitched noise as her _own_. She had been screaming, crying uncontrollably with Ian's head at her fingertips. Armin had reached for the head, but her grip tightened. She refused to put him down.

Mina didn't quite feel real. Was she really doing all of this crying? Was she really here at all? Maybe she should've let herself die to get away from this bad dream. But it was real. The smell of dirt and iron ran pungent in her nose, and the wet, almost eerily filmy, blood on her fingertips were far too distinct. Mina heard herself cry to Armin, caught in an ugly middle ground of anger and tears.

She had learned that Eren had sealed the gate almost immediately after Ian had saved her, and that the Scouting Legion had arrived in due time, making short work of the stragglers, and that Tyra had returned too. She had been one of the ones to speed to the breach with Levi and Lenz.

For the very first time ever, humanity had won but even though they had won, Mina couldn't help but taste bitter defeat.

* * *

Erwin's voice was thunderous, but to Annie, it meant nothing really. She was here, in the legion. Her body was taut with the military salute, but her eyes and chest were devoid of most feelings.

Most.

She hadn't really expected things to play out the way they did. Wall Maria had come down so long ago, and Annie met the boy that had sworn to murder her in cold blood, and found him oddly and deliciously enticing. His eyes were always furrowed in determination, in absolution that his revenge would bring him salvation.

There was no grey in his world, only justice and it made him so very fascinating. Something smoldered in her chest as she thought of Eren, and subtle shadows of a smirk pulled at her lips. Of course the sex would've lead to this. It was very unlike Annie to allow some actual semblance of love.

Those shadows turned into a sense of foreboding because as interesting as Annie found Eren, Mina was so much more than that.

Mina Carolina, with her twin tailed hair, her customary warmness, and often overlooked fur and ability, had been the beginning of all of this. Annie's own interest had turned against her, igniting her insides like a wildfire. Mina was all natural, like wildflowers, and not at all like her.

Mina grew on her like weeds or, more accurately, the best kind of flowers. Annie had actually learned a little about them because of her, had grown entire new buds of friendship because of her. Between her almost exclusive friendship with Mina and Millius's perceptiveness, her three years training had been the most human thing she could remember, and that absolutely terrified her.

Mina was her _best_ friend, a sister she never had and never knew she wanted, and Annie had to get away. A more familiar feeling of somberness set over Annie as she recanted.

Of course, she knew Mina fell for Eren.

And, without a doubt, Annie knew she had gotten too close, and sloppily, by her standards at least, she had tried to sever them, and very nearly did.

But Millius had happened and Annie found herself in that courtyard, post-briefing and relieved because Annie _did not_ want to lose her.

Annie noted that Erwin's voice had faded away, and that there were nameless faces all rushing past them. A lot of the 104th remained, even if most of the southern division had all been slaughtered during the breach.

The entire 104th had cleared out, and remaining there, before Erwin and the scouting legion had been exactly who Annie would thought it would be:

Mikasa.

Eren.

Jean.

Krista.

Ymir.

Connie and Sasha…

But at Annie's left however stood Mina, body taut in despair and resolution and face stained with red eyes and tears.

She was sobbing, and Annie knew exactly why.

Annie felt her chest drop, and rooted herself to the spot; the pain Annie felt in her stomach had almost made her sick, and had very nearly pulled Mina into her arms. Millius had come to mind then, and Annie turned away, head bowed low to hide the fire creeping at her eyes.

Millius had been the only person she had admitted to about Mina's importance, and, if she were honest, could even lighten her up a little too. The night grew quiet as everything stilled, as the rest of the top ten hung on Erwin's words; Mina' sobbing seem all the potent, and Annie felt both her mask and heart break, tears burning her face and feeling so very foreign. Annie muttered, inaudible to everyone but herself:

"I'm so sorry…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get out. Yung Covid really was just like "Naw" so no libraries made me really salty and I haven't been able to stop thnkining about this because there's a flick of Badass Mina AND THIS WAS THE MINA WE DESERVED OKAY???
> 
> Also, There is a work on Fanfiction.net by the lovely and possible now defunct Euregatto that ctually serves as an epilogue and the happenings of this are literally my headcanon leading up to it, and...I hope Kasher on on FF.net doesn't hate me because I've had then idea planned since the beginning...oops.

**Author's Note:**

> Euregatto, if you're still active, this one's also for you because I couldn't think of any other way to contact you.
> 
> PS: Also also, For Ponderess and Jelly, because I love all their depictions of Annie, so decided I would take a shot at it. Also, I'm adding this because super last minute but also for Eurydice of Macedon because he let me borrow some Oc's and I've been dead for five years so yeah, thanks dude. I also REALLY hope I'm gifting to the right people.


End file.
